AllFreeNovel
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I close my eyes.Think,I tell my brain.Think. Remember. Something happened in that darkness.
My brain says:No.
My heart says:It’s for the best, Bella.
—
Don’t ring the doorbell. I’m not getting in trouble, man. She drank all on her own. Just leave her here. You can’t just leave her. Prop her up. Look, she can stand. Bella, after we leave, ring the bell, okay, Bella? No, Kristen, you ring the bell and let’s run. Let’s just get out of here. She’s fine, she’s leaning against the door. Run. Bella, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Bella. Run.
—
That’s it. Lemon and his gray-toothed friend and Kristen. The door to my house. Darkness sinking over me and washing away. I could see and not see. Held the doorknob to stay up, but too heavy. The doorbell went:bing-bong.They started the car and drove away. Too heavy. Have to sleep. Must sleep. Falling, falling. Then breaking into a million pieces.
They left me leaning on the door and I fell and I smashed my face on our concrete stoop and then there was nothing.
That is why my face hurts. Oh.
Gingerly, I reach my hand to my face. Touch it with my bloody fingernails.
Sparks of fire tear through my cheekbone. I jerk my handaway.
I don’t want to see my broken face.
But there’s a blank space in my brain. Something vapory. Something else happened.
My brain won’t give it to me.
—
My parents are arguing.
How could you let this happen.
Me? I thought she was with her friend! She lied. That’s not my fault. Kids lie.
I told you she wasn’t to go out. Do you remember? I told you about the last party.
Kids make mistakes all the time. She’ll learn from this. It happens.
It doesn’t just happen. Look at her face. She could have died.
It doesn’t even matter what I say, Diana. You’ll blame me no matter what.
I open my eyes.
They look at me. Mom’s worried, pale face. Dad’s pinkish, frustrated one. Then he looks relieved.
“Bella,” he says. “Baby. Thank god.”
“Can you please both just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” I say to them quietly.
I roll away from them.
—
A nurse turns on the television. “Do you want anything in particular?”
On the screen, M&M’s are tied to some sort of pole. Bombs strapped around their chests. Another M&M is yelling at them. Why are pieces of candy wearing bombs funny? What is this world? We had three shooting threats at school last year. Someone left a fake grenade in a urinal in the Tech buildingand they filed us out across the long lawn and then we went back to school the next day like nothing had ever happened.
