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“You should go back in. Patty will be wondering where youare.”
I stand up, retie my apron, pat down my hair.
José smiles and points to the pickle bucket and puts a finger to his lips.Shhhh.
—
Patty and Deb are waiting for me by the dishwasher. I keep sucking on the mint José gave me. The drinks I took are making a warm cloud inside my body. I feel calmer now.
“You want me to tell him never to come back? I will,” Patty says.
I shake my head. I’m buzzed, to be honest. That last big gulp helped, but it’s also hitting me a little hard.
“He shouldn’t have come in here. That’s cold. There’s, like,rules.” Deb shakes her head. She’s got two new streaks of color since last week: pink and green.
“It’s fine,” I say softly, even though it isn’t. I try to speak really clearly because I’m afraid I might slur a little. The warm cloud inside me is getting hotter.
“Whatever. Sorry I flipped out.” I bite my lip.Focus,I tell myself.
Patty gives me a smile. “Go fix your face. Deb’ll make you some eggs and toast. You eat, then you go back out and he’ll probably be gone. You’ve gotta be tough with this, you hear? Don’t let him get to you.”
Deb nods. “Yeah. You have to just carry that shit until one day, you wake up, and it doesn’t hurt so bad.”
Lonnie appears, drying his hands on his apron. “On behalf of all men and boys, I’d like to apologize for our insensitivity. We reallyarethat stupid.”
“True that,” says Deb.
—
In the tiny bathroom, I look at my smudged eyeliner, the tear tracks through my face powder.
The poem José quoted to me drifts through my head as I look at the mess I am reflected back at me.
As for me, I am a watercolor. I wash off.
—
It’s ten-fifteen and my dad isn’t here to pick me up yet. I’m about to text him when I see Vanessa’s white Volkswagen Beetle pull into the lot. Ricci waves at me from the back seat.
My heart sinks. Perfect. Just perfect. Now I’m going to be subjected to my dad’s girlfriend’s relentless positivity for the night. The shots I took with José helped me power throughthe last of my shift. I’m still a little buzzed, so they’ll get me through at least this car ride.
I climb into the front seat.
“Sorry,” Vanessa says. “Your dad went out for a bit to hear some music. Looks like it’s a girls’ night. Are you okay? Your face is really pink. You getting sick?”
“I’mfine,” I mutter.
From the back seat, Ricci chants, “Girls’ night, girls’ night!”
“All right, then. I’ve got cheese popcorn and hot chocolate,” Vanessa says. “Maybe a movie on Netflix?”
“I have homework,” I say. “And I’m pretty tired.”
“It’s Saturday! No one should have to do homework on a Saturday,” Vanessa answers. “You can take a break, for once.”
“Saturday!” Ricci shouts.
I know it kills my mom that Ricci likes Vanessa so much. I mean, Ricci’s just a little kid, so things likenew girlfriendandbetrayaldon’t mean anything to her. But at this moment, after having lost it at my job when my old boyfriend, myfirstboyfriend, brought in hisnew girlfriend,I’m not feeling too much like pretending to be nice to mydad’snew girlfriend.Who, for all I know, was his girlfriendwhilehe was with my mom. Parents lie to you all the time.
