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A backpackthunks next to me. I look up, startled. Cherie.
“Hi,” she says. “Can I sit here?”
Slowly, I nod. She slides in next to me.
I take out my sandwich. My hands are shaking. I’m not hungry anyway.
No one says anything for a long time.
“I’m sorry,” Cherie says finally. “About everything.”
“It’s not your fault,” I say.
“I mean, Iknowthat,” she says, waving her hand dismissively. “I just meantin generalthat I’m sorry.”
I don’t say anything.
“You look skinnier,” she says, giving me the once-over.
“I did a lot of running,” I say. “And there was a gym.”
“Swanky,” she murmurs.
She pops open a bag of Takis, delicately cracking one in half.
“You know Kristen’s gone, right?” she says.
“I haven’t really been keeping tabs on her,” I answer mildly. “What happened?”
“Her parents pulled her out. After it happened. It got really hard for her here. Lemon, too.”
“Why?” I ask.
Dawn takes a sip of her water. “Because. It was a crappy thing to do, leaving you that way. You could have…”
“Died,” Cherie finishes. “And kids were pissed about that. You were a whole assembly talk, you know that? Principal Cummings did it. About taking care of each other, watching each other’s backs. Blah blah. And some kids started freezing Kristen and Lemon out.”
“Did you?” I ask. “Freeze Kristen out.”
Cherie crumbles some Takis into her yogurt cup. “I still talk to her. She’s at Palo Verde now. But it’s not the same, when wetalk. I just keep wondering if she’d do the same to me. I mean, she’s sorry. She’s really sorry. Your dad threatened to sue her parents, can you believe it? You should probably talk to her.”
“She doesn’t have to,” Dawn says. “If she doesn’t want to.”
“I know that,” Cherie says, irritated. “But we werefriendsfor a long time. That should count for something.”
Dawn shakes her head. “I don’t think so. I don’t think you should have to forgive someone for something like that.”
“Everyone’shurting in this situation, Dawn,” Cherie says, shoving some Taki yogurt in her mouth.
“Actually,” Dawn says, staring hard at Cherie, “I think the person who’s hurting the most is sitting right here, and that’s the person we should be caring about.”
“Stop it,” I say, suddenly exhausted. “I don’t want a fight. It’s my first day back. My friend from theredied.It wasn’t some sort of spa where I lost weight. Shithappened.I just want to get through this freaking day.”
“Sorry,” they mumble in unison.
I feel very, very, very old all of a sudden. I’m a sophomore sitting in a crowded lunchroom and I feel as though I’m a thousand years old.
—
