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I stagger out of the bathroom and lie down on my bed. In the darkness, it’s easy to lie to myself; to pretend I haven’t known this for a couple of weeks, but instead of facing it head on, I kept pushing it down. Denial is my new best friend.
Yes, I can keep pretending—at least for a little while longer. Just long enough to go through my next booking at Cupid’s Court.
Pulling my phone from my back pocket I check the date, and yup, it’s only a few days away. I can allow myself to be in denial for that long… I think.
And then… I’m not entirely sure what the procedure is. Do I tell the guys? Does Cupid’s Court tell them? God, the cowardly side of me really hopes I’m not going to have to be the one to tell them. I mean, how do you even say something like that?
Well, it doesn’t matter right now, anyway. Nope, that’s a problem for future Gail. She can deal with it by asking the doctor how to go about it all. All I need to do is keep my mouth shut the next time I’m with the guys.
I can do that.
Gail
The cursor blinks on my laptop screen, teasing me with the promise of what ‘EduSync’ could become. Or should I say, what it is becoming because with all the time we’ve poured into it over the past two months, it’s looking absolutely epic.
I’m perched on a plush armchair that Luce has declared our office throne, while she sprawls across the modern glass desk in her new house, papers and color-coded folders fanned out around her like a strategist amidst battle plans.
“Got it!” Her triumphant cry pulls me from my thoughts as she secures another educational package deal for our fledgling enterprise. “Gail, this is really happening.”
I try to force a positive facial expression, but when Lucia frowns I know I must look ridiculous.
“Hey, you okay?” My bestie’s concerned eyes meet mine, her intuition always razor-sharp.
“Sure,” I lie, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. “Just thinking about the website structure.”
“Good, because you’re the brains of this operation.” She winks, her confidence in me unshakable.
I hate lying to Luce with every fiber of my being, but I can’t tell her about Fet. Yeah, in my insanity, I’ve started calling it Fet. Fetus sounds too clinical, but baby sounds too real. So… Fet it is. I keep telling myself that I just need one more night with the men at Cupid’s Court, and then I’ll get real. It’ll be like a goodbye session.
The best thing about being the only one knowing my secret is that there’s no one arguing with me. My word is law, which is good since I already know I’m handling this in the worst possible way. As the only person in the know, that’s my prerogative.
But my mind betrays me, wandering again to that email nestled among the mundane in my inbox. The subject line, ‘Booking confirmation’, taunts me as I open it for the umpteenth time, scanning the words that solidify plans for in a couple of days, the same night the Sabertooths have a home game.
I’ve already promised Luce that I’ll go to the game with her, and if I time everything correctly, I can still leave to spend the night with my men at Cupid’s Court afterwards.
Then I double check my calendar, wanting to make sure I’ve made several reminders for the doctor’s appointment with Doctor Patel, my appointed physician from Cupid’s Court. Although she’s busy, I’ve managed to snatch up an appointment in a couple of weeks, and in preparation, I’ve made myself notes to ask how it’s possible that I’m pregnant.
I mean, I knowhowit happened. What I don’t know is how it was even a possibility. When I signed up to Cupid’s Court they put me on birth control, and I was assured it was superior to anything on the market. Yet, it’s failed spectacularly. I can’t even do any period math since I haven’t bled since getting the shot at the end of November. Nope. I’m not thinking about this. Not yet.
“Did you say something?” Lucia peers at me, brows furrowed.
Shit, I must have spoken out loud. “Nothing important.” I force a smile, turning back to the screen before us. “Let’s finalize these service packages. I was thinking we could offer a discount for the first sign-ups?”
“Great idea!” She claps her hands together, her enthusiasm infectious.
We dive back into work, and I do my best to focus. “Luce,” I start, hesitating only a moment. “What if… what if we did something truly unique with EduSync? Something that sets us apart?”
Her eyes light up, and I know I have her full attention. “Like what?”
“Interactive workshops. Live Q&As with experts. Personalized learning paths.” Ideas spill from me, a torrent unleashed.
“Genius, Gail. Absolute genius.” Luce’s spirit, always so vibrant, fuels my own. In this room, with her, possibilities seem endless. “I love our little work baby,” she laughs.
I do my best not to flinch at her choice of words, but instead hide my face behind my hair so she can’t see the shocked expression I’m sure I’m wearing. Christ. A Baby. Nope, still not thinking about that.
We work until my alarm goes off. Looking at the clock, I get up. “I have to go,” I say as I start packing my things.
She watches me as I button my coat and reach for the beanie I’m hiding my hair under. “You know you can’t hide beneath that thing forever, right?”
