AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“The coast has populations of lobsters all year,” Archie answers. “Only some live out in deep waters, near the continental shelf. Those populations do migrate, and it might be warm enough now for us to get a couple. But it won’t be a big haul by any means.”
Archie explains a bit more to us, telling us that per regulations, he has to check the pots once a month to make sure no sea life is caught in the lines, and how he uses buoys to locate the pots.
“How many other lobstermen fish around here?” I ask.
“A fair few,” he says. “But I’m the only active one from Isle North, and not many have their pots laid down yet. But I need the money.”
“I thought it would be a main industry on the island,” Carter says.
Archie snorts and laughs at that. “Isle North only has one true industry now. Tourists.”
“That’s sad,” I say.
“That’s life,” Archie says, but he doesn’t look happy about it. “There aren’t many year-rounders on Isle North, especially these days. And I’m sure you’ve noticed, but there’s hardly anyone on the island under the age of forty.”
I consider this. The teenage waitress we had at Shaky Jane’s was probably the youngest person in the restaurant by far.
“We’ve got a few families with a kid or two,” Archie continues, “But no one is moving here anymore, and when kids grow up, they move off island and only come back in the summer.”
“How long have you lived on the island?” Carter asks.
“My whole life,” is all Archie says.
I can tell Carter wants to ask more questions, but he holds back, sensing, I’m sure, that Archie is private. I have to laugh—the three of us make quite the group. Neither of us are prone to sharing about our personal lives it would seem. And while Archie’s brand of private is more curmudgeonly than Carter’s proclivity for deflection, or my shyness, it has the same effect.
“I grew up in New York,” I offer. “My moms moved us to Harborview when my mama wanted to quit working in finance, and we’d been summering in Maine for years.”
“You have two moms?” Archie asks with interest.
“Yes,” I say, and hope he’s okay with that. I never know how people are going to react, and while my moms are accepted in Harborview, there have definitely been issues for them over the years when they’ve traveled elsewhere. Nothing horrible, but they’ve heard their fair share of snide comments.
“What’s that like?”
I’m surprised. Hardly anyone is ever upfront about asking me that. They either don’t ask at all or try to get me to talk about it in less direct ways. Like asking me if I wish I had a father (No, of course not), and if I get confused calling them mom and mama (No, I’m not stupid).
“Probably similar to what it’s like for anyone else who has two loving parents,” I say. “But I know that’s not the case for some people.” I add this last part while trying not to look at Carter. I know I’m lucky to have two parents who love me no matter what—and after talking to him about his parents, I’m less inclined to take that for granted.
“Do they ever wish you didn’t date men?” Archie asks in a lighthearted tone, and jerks his head towards Carter.
“It’s not like they’d ever tell me that I should try dating women. They know better than most that you can’t force your sexuality to be something it isn’t.” I think back to the stories my mama has told me about when she came out. How difficult it was for her to come out to her family, the struggles she faced as a Black lesbian. When she first started working in finance, she didn’t even tell anyone she worked with that she was queer.
“It’s more that they showed me,” I pause, and try to think of the best way to articulate this. “They showed me what a loving relationship could look like. They cared for me equally when I was little, and they did the same amount of work in the house, and emotionally supported one another really well. When I started dating, I really wasn’t prepared for certain things. I never imagined that it was okay to date someone for weeks and then stop talking to them out of the blue. Or that men could be so truly unkind to women.”
I try hard not to look at Carter as I say this, because I’m explaining something that really gets to the root of why him abandoning me hurt so much. I just wasn’t ready for it. Mymoms showed me what love could be like, and I naïvely assumed it was like that for everyone, every time.
Archie is quiet for a moment after I say this. “Most men are rats,” he says finally. “And it sounds like your moms shielded you from finding that out. I understand that. I never wanted my own daughter to find out how much hurt was out there waiting for her. But she’s found a good man. He’s not a lobster fisherman like I’d prefer, but he’s good to her.”
“That’s nice,” I say quietly. It seems that by sharing some of myself, I’ve made Archie feel comfortable opening up a bit, too. It’s a lesson Carter and I should take to heart.
“You might still find a good one,” Archie continues. “Just run him by your moms first. They sound like they’ll be good judges of character.”
“They are,” I say, and smile. My moms would both love Archie.
I don’t look at Carter, but he’s right next to me and I can sense a shift in his demeanor. The energy between us that was playful earlier this morning and last night is now serious and stretched thin. Buthewas the person who broke us all those years ago—who left me without a word. I can’t change that.
Problem is, I’m starting to think he’s actually grown into being one of the good ones. And I have no idea where that leaves me.
22
