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“Do you want it? What Cat and Jamie have?” she asks, her eyes returning to meet mine again.
“I do, but not like what they have. I want something that’s my own—mine and the other person’s that is. Whoever she ends up being.”
Her gaze shutters at my words, her mind once more lost in that far off place, unwilling to play with me any further. Some people wouldn’t notice Angela’s mask, but I’ve watched one slip over her features every time she’s talked to me for the last seven years. I’m an expert at detecting it.
“We should get going,” she says, still not meeting my eyes.
“Of course,” I say. “But we should eat a bit first. And drink water.”
“And then I should check your leg and change the dressing.”
“Whatever you want, Angel,” I say.
13
ANGELA
As excitedas I am to be off of this island, as we start our hike back to the town, I have to admit that it’s pretty beautiful here. The landscape is reminiscent of Mount Desert Island, so familiar enough. But it’s peaceful here in a way that back home isn’t, the surrounding trees and cliffs untouched in a way I’ve rarely experienced. There’s evidence that a storm blew through, though, and here and there large branches are scattered on the ground, and we even pass a downed tree.
It’s also still fucking freezing out. The storm may have cleared, and the sun might be shining, but the wind is still whistling through the trees, and the temperature must be in the forties.
Carter graciously let me wear his coat again, saying he’d be fine in his layers. And he looks fine. Damn near toasty compared to how I’m feeling.
“You don’t happen to have a hat and scarf in your backpack somewhere,” I grumble from behind him.
He stops and turns to face me. “No, but I can give you one of my shirts. You could wrap it around your neck and it would probably keep the wind out.”
“I wasn’t serious. Please don’t worry.”
But he’s already taking off his outermost layer. As he does, his undershirt rides up a bit, giving me a glimpse of his tan, taut stomach, peppered with hair.
“Carter, I’m fine, I swear. You need to stay warm, too,” I say, refusing to take the shirt from him as he tries to hand it over.
“Promise you’ll tell me if you don’t start warming up though, okay?”
His tone is serious, and I can tell from his shrewd gaze that he’s assessing me. I try my best not to visibly shiver and I conjure up images in my head of sunny beaches.
“I promise,” I say. “I’m sure I’ll warm up as we get going.”
We continue walking and I let Carter stay in the lead. He’s using a compass he had in his pack to navigate, as we need to find our way to a marked trail that leads to town. I have to give it to him, he’s extremely prepared.
He had food in his pack, a first aid kit, and knew the location of a cabin for us to stay in. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been there. Died, probably.
Then again, if I hadn’t been trying to get away from him in the first place, I wouldn’t have ended up on my own in the woods, and I’d be back in Harborview already, safe in my bed.
Or, more likely, working my ass off at the hospital on another understaffed, busy shift. At least being on this island has given me some much needed time to just…exist. Without worrying about work. I hate that my life has turned into one long stretch of work, and then more work, and then spending my days off recuperating from being at the hospital.
I wish I was more like the man walking in front of me. Prepared. Confident. Able to advocate for myself.
The sad thing is, no one in my life would expect me to be so bad at drawing boundaries around work. After all, I’m excellent about maintaining those boundaries in my personal life, neveropening up or sharing anymore than I want to, never giving an inch to someone who might try to take an emotional mile.
But work is definitely something I throw myself into in order to compensate for the fact that I’m not in a happy relationship, and that I probably never will be.
“You alright back there?” Carter’s voice is a welcome interruption from the dark path my thoughts were heading down.
“All good! Feeling warmer already.” It’s a lie, but I’ll be damned if I take any more layers from this man.
“I’ll start seeing if I’m getting any service,” he says, taking his phone out.
