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I nodded. “Yes, I do.” Maybe it was the overpowering grief of losing my best friend that had blinded me. My heart had already been suffering and had no immunity to stupid tricks and lies. Now I was with him, though, looking into his eyes, seeing his truth, it was clear how stupid I’d been.
“Thank God,” he whispered, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’ve been shitting myself that you wouldn’t.”
“Well, I do, but, if you didn’t post the picture, who did?” I asked, not pulling my hand away from his. “Who could have got into your Insta?”
Zak shrugged. “No idea. I think it was taken at some family party of hers, but I know that the shirt I’m wearing went to charity when we moved here.” He narrowed his eyes on me. “And you can ask my mum if you want to.”
“No, I don’t want to.” I gave his hand a squeeze and earned myself a gorgeous smile. “Who else knows them?”
“Amelia?”
“Amelia wouldn’t do that would she?”
“Not a chance, she’s more obsessed with you than I am.”
Grinning, I asked him, “You’re obsessed with me?”
“You know I am,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “And if you don’t then I haven’t done my job as your boyfriend properly.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “You sound just like my dad.”
“I am Luke to his Darth Vader. He taught me well.”
“Shit, you are turning into him.”
As I slapped a hand to my face, he chuckled deeply and put his arm around my shoulder, hugging me closer. “Thank you for believing me.” He drew in a breath and looked at me tentatively.
“What?” I asked. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Fuck it, I’m just going to say it.”
“Say what?” I asked, my voice quivering with trepidation.
“That I love you, Maddy,” he said quietly, his gaze fixed on me. “And I’m an idiot because I should have said it before now. Because that’s what I really wanted to tell you in London. You’re not just everything to me. I love you.”
My stomach tumbled as I stared at his lips, not sure if I’d heard him properly. “Say it again,” I whispered, watching him carefully. “Tell me again.”
He reached for my hand and pulled it against his chest. “I. Love. You.”
His words were slow and definite so that there was no doubt what he was saying. And every single syllable made perfect sense. He. Loved.Me. This clever, kind, gorgeous boy loved me, and I knew that even if it didn’t last he would always be ingrained in my soul. That was how special he was, how special what we had was. It was the perfect first love.
Our eyes met in an intense stare and all the excitement rolling around in my stomach intensified. It wasn’t heated or lustful, but much deeper than that. It was a silent recognition ofhow we felt about each other. Of the excitement and joy of first love.
My heart hammered as adrenaline coursed through my body, and his intense blue gaze stole my breath. This boy was everything to me. He was the best part of my life. The best part of my heart. “I love you, too,” I told him, hoping my words didn’t sound as shaky as they felt in my throat, because I needed him to hear them and understand them. “That is my truth, and I’m sorry that I doubted you for one second, because I know how amazing you are.”
“Amazing?” He had a wry grin on his face, and it was so cute it made my heart flutter.
“Yes, amazing. And perfect and ho?—”
I didn’t have a chance to finish because Zak jumped up, cupped my face, and held it in his strong hands while he kissed the breath from my lungs. It was passion and sweetness mixed together as he bit my bottom lip before sucking on it gently. His fingers tangled in my hair as he urged me to stand with him. Once I did, we lost ourselves even more in a kiss that was a recognition of the feelings we’d fallen hopelessly into.
“I love you,” he said breathlessly in the seconds between kisses.
“I love you.”
It was like we couldn’t get close enough, pushing against each other, our hands clutching and grabbing.
Being there in that moment with Zak made me wish that I hadn’t been so angry about Ana’s death, or so furious with myself for not going home with her, and so full of resentment at Zak. All those feelings had been stupid and damaging. What I really should have done was let myself need him. Because all that fury and bitterness had squashed down the grief, and I’d let it because that was so much easier to deal with. In return, I’d suffered more. My relationship with Zak had suffered, too.
