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“Not going to happen.” I shook my head. “Just like you’re not going to meet some guy who wants you to be his girlfriend.”
Maddy groaned, but even in the pale light of the lamp I’d left on in the hallway, I could see the blush on her cheeks. I saw how she kicked her toe against the floor and then scratched the back of her neck. Shit, there was already a boy. Of course, there was. She was beautiful, sweet natured, and funny, so why wouldn’t there be a boy?
“I want you to do what makes you happy, Maddy,” I whispered, stooping down to look her directly in the eyes. “But I think this would be good for you to go. Isn’t Ana going to Sheffield and Emma to Nottingham?”
“Well, yeah, but?—”
“Which means you’re not going to get to see them much anyway,” I explained.
“Yes, but Liv will still be here, she’s going to Manchester and living at home. Liam is doing that Business Apprenticeship at Bentley Motors, so he’ll be home, too.”
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Just open the letter, and then we can talk about it tomorrow.” I knew that there was no point in pushing her. If there was anything predictable about my daughter, it was that she could be as stubborn as a mule, especially if she knew that I wanted her to do something that she didn’t want to do. “If you don’t want to go, then don’t.”
“I know what you’re doing, Dad,” she replied giving me a wry smile. “But it won’t work.”
“I have no clue what you mean. Now, open the letter and I’ll make us some hot chocolate.” I rubbed her arms and moved away. “You want cream and marshmallows?”
With the envelope on the table between us, Maddy and I drank our hot chocolate. It was almost midnight, and with what was possibly some great news sitting there, my tiredness had disappeared. My nerves were jangling and my leg bouncing up and down as Maddy took her sweet time.
“Fuck it,” I grunted and reached for it.
“Dad, no,” she snapped, slamming her hand down on top of mine. “I’ll do it.” She pushed her mug away and pulled the letter to her. “Whatever it says I don’t want you pressurising me, okay?”
“Okay. No pressure.”
“Promise?”
I didn’t want to promise but knew if I didn’t, we’d be there until the next morning with the damn thing unopened.
“Promise. Now, take my hand.” It was our thing. It was what I always told her to do when she was scared, ever since she was a little girl. When she took her first steps, her first day at schooland the time an older boy, Jordan Campbell, tripped her up just before the bean bag race on sport’s day. She missed the start of the race, so I told her to take my hand and I walked up to Mrs Beaker, the head, and told her to restart the race. As for Jordan Campbell, I waited a long ten years to get him back when I refused to serve him in the bar because he didn’t have any ID, even though I knew he’d turned eighteen the week before.
Maddy gave a single nod and wrapped her tiny fingers around mine, squeezing them. After a few seconds, she breathed in, then slowly let it go, ripping open the envelope. As she took out the letter, wary eyes looked at me before unfolding it and holding it to her chest.
“I don’t want to look.”
“Maddy, sweetheart, come on you are much braver than that.”
She swallowed and slowly lowered the paper, glancing down at it. Squinting, her lips moved as she read.
“Maddy, why don’t you wear your glasses?” A hand was held up to silence me as she continued reading. “Well?”
I leaned across the table and tried to look over the top, but Maddy just lifted it higher so that her face was hidden. When I heard a sharp inhale, I had no idea whether it was good or bad news. She gave nothing away as she carried on reading.
I scrubbed a hand down my face and groaned, “Oh come on, just tell me will you.”
The letter fluttered to the tabletop, and when Maddy’s face was revealed I was still unsure how to react.
“Well?” I finally asked, linking my hands at the back of my neck. “Did you get in?”
Maddy nodded. “I got in, Dad. Three B’s required.” She licked her lips as her brown eyes went as big as saucers. “I got in.”
Pride swelled in my chest as I watched the girl who I loved more than life itself. She was my whole world, and I’d vowed seventeen years before to help her to find her wings and soar. University could be the beginning of a whole new world for her—her ticket out of tiny little Norford, where she could make a better life for herself. She would never need to rely on the kindness of a dying woman to make something of herself, or work for hours every day to make sure she kept a roof over her family’s head.
“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” I whispered. “And your mum would be too.”
I’d never hidden the details about Andy from Maddy. She knew about the childhood that Andy and I had and how we’d met, and why we had separated. She was also fully aware that Miriam had been very persuasive in getting me to meet her and to accept the responsibility of fatherhood.
“Would she?” Maddy whispered, tears brimming against her lashes.
