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“Always. Boh. Always,” she says.
Boh nods, still laughing. “Well, I’ll let you ladies get back to it.” He starts to walk away. “Oh, Ry.” I stop and turn slightly to face him. “You still coming to Cash’s for Thanksgiving dinner?”
“Uh, yes, of course. Wouldn’t miss it.” I muster up a smile.
“See you then.” Boh gives us a wave and walks away. My heart feels like it’s about to thump up my throat and fly from my mouth. Even though Toni saved me, I still feel like every single lie was written all over my face in Sharpie. Toni links her arm through mine, pulling me along and dumping the condoms at the end of the aisle. I let her drag me out, still picturing Boh’s face and how disappointed or annoyed he looked. I’m not sure, he’s never given me that face before. My face must say it all.
“Don’t you dare get inside that head,” Toni says still dragging me through Walmart.
“Just get me out of here,” I say, feeling like the weight of the world has placed itself firmly on my shoulders again.
“I really don’t know if I can continue this with Cash.” I may cry at any minute. My emotions are all over the place since seeing Boh. I can’t stop thinking about his face, if he looks at me like that, imagine how others will look at me, or worse, say to my face.
“I told you in the car on the way home, Boh didn’t suspect anything. He thought it was all me.” Toni has a slight frown on her face.
“I know he did, but you didn’t see his face when he thought they were mine.” I pick at the nonexistent lint on my trousers. “He was so disappointed, and that’s with him thinking it’s a random guy, imagine if he found out it was his brother.”
“Then that is a Bohdi problem, not a you problem,” she states, eyes narrowed.
“What have I told you since we were young. Fuck what people think, Rylee. Fuck what Boh thinks, fuck what Bridget thinks, fuck what I think, fuck what Miss Dainty thinks, fuck what the dog next door thinks.” I chuckle. “Your feelings are all that matters.” She grabs my hand. “I get you don’t want to hurt other people because that’s the kind of person you are, but you have been and are still going through one of the hardest years of your life. Who are they to tell you not to be with someone who makes you smile again.”
She grabs my cheeks, making me look her in the eye. “Because if anyone in this life deserves to smile again, it’s you. It’s too beautiful to hide away.” I smile as tears well in my eyes. She wipes under my eyes, catching the stray tears before they fall. “It’s time to put yourself first, Rylee,” she says, smiling and bringing me in for a cuddle. “If anyone takes that smile away, I will kill them,” she whispers into my ear, holding me tight. The joke is, I don’t doubt that for a second.
Chapter thirty-two
Rylee
Thanksgiving
“Rylee!”BridgetsquealsasI walk into Cash’s house. Bridge offered to pick me up, but I told her I was with Toni, so I would come by after, as I knew she was here helping Cash get the food set up.
“Hey, Bridge.” It’s Thanksgiving, and I knew Bridge wouldn’t let me have it anywhere else but with her and the family. Toni said I could go to her mom’s, but I wanted to be with the Stiles’ family this year. It only felt right to spend the first one without Jace with them.
I give Bridge a tight squeeze before following her into the house. We’re having it at Cash’s, as he has the bigger place, so it made sense. This will be the first time I have been around Bridge and Boh since having sex with Cash, and I’m anxious. I feel like it’s written all over my face.“I fucked Cash, I’m a piece of shit.”I even practiced in the mirror to see what my face may look like seeing Bridge. It’s made me crazy over the last few weeks. Cash laughed at me every time I would have a meltdown about it.
It’s weird because we haven’t spoken about what is going on between us. We haven’t spoken about telling anyone. Not that I’m in a rush to, but the more time I spend with him, the more I fall for him and the deeper it gets. I have seen Cash every week since the night of the ball, and each time, we can’t keep our hands off each other. I mostly come here, and I think he has fucked me over every surface in this house.
The minute I see him, my stomach somersaults. He has his back to me, fussing over some food in the kitchen. My heart races and my legs feel like jelly. I can’t explain it, but whatever this high is, I never want to come down from it. It scares me because it’s a high I want forever, and the thought of losing it is a sucker punch to the stomach.
There have been a few close calls with Bohdi. I spoke to Cash regarding him, but Cash has been avoiding him. Bridge had asked me over the phone why I left abruptly the night of the ball, so I said I felt sick and thought it was best to go home. I don’t know what Cash said, but to be honest, the more I don’t know, the better. I’ve never been able to lie.
“Hey, Bohdi,” I say as I walk into the kitchen. Bridge walks over to the stove and fusses with some of the food.
“Ry. You okay?” He smiles, not his usual smile though. I wish I knew what was wrong with him. He used to text me, but I haven’t spoken to him since the day after the ball when I bumped into him. I offer him a smile, trying to brush off the niggling feeling that something isn’t right.
“Much better now I’ve seen you.” I nudge his arm, trying to fall back into our fun banter, but he gives me a tight-lipped smile. He hugs me, but it resembles one of those hugs you give someone you just met. He goes to turn around, and I grab his arm.
“Boh, can I talk to you a minute.” He squints at me and then nods before walking out of the kitchen. Cash is nowhere to be seen, which I’m glad for the moment, because I need no distractions before talking to Boh. As we turn the corner into the living room, I stop him.
“Hey, what’s up?”
He examines my face before letting out a big sigh. “Nothing.” He offers me a tight-lipped smile again.
“Boh, I know you. Something isn’t right. Talk to me?” I plead with my eyes.
His eyes flick between mine. “You would always tell me the truth, wouldn’t you?” His eyebrows draw downward. Why is he asking me this?
I nod and gulp, trying to plaster on a smile that says anything but the truth.
