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“I know,” I muttered, hating myself even more.
“But hey, if it’s a mate bond, then it’s meant to be. You need to talk to him, explain how it happened, and go from there,” Lydia said as she pulled back, her hands resting on my shoulders.
“I don’t know if I feel a mate bond, Lydia. I feel strongly for him, but a mate bond? That sounds like a marriage, and it’s far too early for that. Hell, it sounds even more final than marriage.”
“It is, it’s for life,” Lydia stated with absolution. “So you need to know it’s what you want. I don’t know if shifters can feel the mate bond again if for some insane reason the first one is never marked and fulfilled. I’ve not heard of anyone fighting it or not wanting it,” she admitted. “But, in saying that, I’ve not known anyone that felt it for a human. It’s all different.”
“Great.” How on earth was I supposed to figure this out? I’d been happy taking things slower with Chris, seeing how I felt fully.
I’d just had to go and fuck it all up with Ossian.
“Look, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be, but right now, I think you need a distraction." Her eyes lit up with an idea. "Why don't we go back to the training area? Maybe your dragon will do better without an audience."
I glanced at my dragon, which was watching us with those inscrutable purple eyes. It sat next to Selis, who was happily lounging on the floor, her wings folded up neatly. "Is that allowed?"
Lydia shrugged. "I don't see why not. Besides, it can't hurt to try."
I nodded, knowing sitting here wallowing was not going to do me any favors or solve this entire pickle I was in. She helped me to my feet, and we headed out. We made our way through the winding corridors of the Keep, our dragons following close behind. As we turned a corner, we nearly collided with Eirian.
"Where are you two going?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
Lydia smiled warmly. "We thought we'd get in some extra training with our dragons. Aria's been having a bit of trouble, and we thought a quieter session might help."
Eirian frowned before glancing down at the small creature behind me beside Selis. "You shouldn't go to the training area alone. It could be dangerous if something goes wrong."
"Then why don't you come with us?" Lydia suggested, her tone light.
Eirian sighed, but I saw a flicker of curiosity in his eyes. "Very well. Lead on."
The training area was eerily quiet without the usual bustle of activity. Our footsteps echoed in the vast space as we made our way to the center, the obstacles strewn all around us.
"Alright," Lydia said, Selis already creating small spheres of liquid in the air with ease. "Let's see what these little ones can do. Selis, let’s start and guide Aria’s little one. How about we throw some spheres through the hoops then do some flying stuff?”
Selis nodded, and I watched as she launched into the air. Lydia was clearly focusing mentally, guiding Selis and relaying quietly to me what she was planning on doing before she did it.
Turning to my own little dragon, I tried to summon that same connection. "Okay, little one. Let's try this again. Show me what you can do."
But as before, my dragon merely tilted its head, those purple eyes regarding me with what almost looked like amusement. No matter what I tried - encouragement, commands, even pleading - it remained stubbornly inert.
I could feel Eirian's gaze on us, his disapproval burning into me. Finally, he spoke, his voice tinged with frustration. "Perhaps... perhaps yours is a reject."
"What?" A chill coursed through me at the painful thought.
Eirian at least had the grace to look uncomfortable. "It's possible. The lack of color, its refusal to demonstrate any abilities... it could have a birth defect, or simply lack magic altogether."
I sank to the ground, my dragon immediately curling up in my lap. "I guess that figures," I said, unable to keep the bitterness from my tone. "We both have no special powers. What a pair we make."
Lydia joined me on the ground, her face full of sympathy. "Don't say that, Aria. You're both special, powers or not."
We sat in silence for a moment, the weight of everything - the expectations, the confusion, the homesickness - pressing down on me.
"I miss home," I admitted softly, stroking my dragon's scales. "My apartment, my best friend Dana, my dad. It all seems so far away now."
Lydia nodded with a small, knowing smile. "I know what you mean. I miss my kids so much it hurts. I keep wondering if time moves differently here. What if I miss their birthdays? What if... what if they forget me?"
Eirian, who had been standing awkwardly to the side, cleared his throat. "Time moves much the same in both worlds," he said, his voice gentler than I'd ever heard it. "A day here is a day on Earth."
I looked up at him, curiosity momentarily overriding my melancholy. "Zephyr mentioned that the fae live in a strange part of Earth, like a separate layer. Is Dracaria like that?"
