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With those thoughts in my head, I scramble through the opening and slide the cover back with a sigh of relief.
The bed is back to how it should be in a minute, and I take a quick shower before changing back into my clothes. The chemical tang from cleaning spray hangs in the air, but with the bathroom fan left on, it shouldn’t linger too long.
Once Paisley returns the caddy, I sit on the bed with her in my arms, my heart rate slowly acclimating to normal.
“Well, this day sucked,” she murmurs, and I burst into a relieved laugh. Her shock has evaporated for the moment, though I’m sure a new storm of trouble is brewing on the horizon.
In this brief window, I hold her, enjoying the calm before our world is at risk of being blown wide apart.
“Thank you for helping me,” Paisley says when I think she’s fallen into a doze. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
A string pulls in my chest. I knew something was off with James. That’s the whole reason I placed him to take the fall for the cheating.
But I didn’t imagine anything like this. Once again, I’m gripped with fierce emotions as I comprehend how much she risked to protect me. All the while, I should have been protecting her.
“You don’t need to thank me. We look out for each other, yeah?”
“Yeah.” She snuggles closer, until I can feel her heartbeat, can sense mine synching to hers. Her voice becomes even quieter. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Did you watch the video?”
I stiffen, anticipating that she’s about to ask me to wipe it and I really don’t want to do that. “Yes, I watched it.”
She nods, her fingers closing tighter around my upper arm, her eyes closing. “Would you be able to do that? To me?”
“Never.” I twist until I’m facing her, resting my fingers against her cheek. “I’ve never do anything to hurt you.”
“No. Not—” she breaks off, frowning. “Iwantyou to do what he did. Everything, but through to the finish.” When I don’t immediately respond, she asks, “Do you understand?”
“Yeah, but… that’s not a good idea. Not with everything you’ve just been through.”
Her eyes lock with mine and her hand reaches inside my waistband, fingers stroking me until I grow hard enough for them to wrap around.
I refuse to hurt her, and this counts as the worst idea in the world. After watching the recording James made, I have no desire to follow his same path, losing this loving touch to dread.
“How about we wait until tomorrow?” I suggest with the gentlest voice I can muster. In response, her fingers grip me tighter, pumping me until I’m crawling with need, desperate to bury myself inside her.
But what she needs is someone to hold her and care for her, treat her gently until she remembers how to treat herself the same way.
My throbbing cock hates me for it, but I cover her hand with mine and pull hers away.
“You don’t want me?”
The gasp is stuffed with fear, with the pain of rejection. “Of course, I want you.” I hold her closer, covering her face with kisses even when she turns impatiently aside. “But not tonight. I can’t.”
She arches her hips until her pelvis bumps against me. “Yes, you can.”
I won’t be able to hold her close without her knowing how much I want her; not something I can easily hide. “It’s not a good idea.”
“It’s the best idea in the world.”
She becomes more aggressive, taking me in her hands again, pulling at my belt until it’s free, tugging my zipper until I’m fighting her to hold my clothing in place.
The girl who waits obediently for my next instruction is nowhere to be seen.
“Please stop.” I trap her inside my arms. “You’ve been hurt. You’re in shock.”
