Page 5 of Bigfoot's Wife


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Jac's eyes go wide. "Cool! Can I be a tentacle alien?"

I scoop him up, tickling his sides. "Sorry, squirt. No tentacles allowed in my transport."

"Aww," Jac pouts, then brightens. "What about laser eyes?" Jac starts making 'pew pew' noises and pretending to shoot lasers from his skull.

Osian rolls his eyes in that “I’m too old for this” way that only a ten-year-old can manage. "Uncle Olwydd, we're going to be late if we don't leave now."

I ruffle his fur. "Look at you, Mr. Responsible. When did you get so grown up?"

"Probably around the time you started acting like an overgrown child," Elis deadpans, ducking as I playfully swat at him.

"Oh ho! We've got a comedian in the family," I tease. "Alright, you little smartypants, last one to the transport has to sit in the back with Uncle Olwydd's smelly gym towel!"

The boys shriek with laughter and race out of the kitchen. I grab my keys and follow, but just to rub it in, glance over my shoulder with a shit-eating grin. “Thanks for breakfast, sis. Same time tomorrow!”

As we pile into my transport—a souped-up golf cart—Osian elbows me. "Hey, Uncle Olwydd, bet you can't make it to school in under five minutes."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Is that a challenge?"

"Ooh, do it!" Elis cheers from the back.

"Yeah, floor it!" Jac adds, bouncing in his seat.

I wink at him in the rearview mirror. "Now, Jac, you know your mom would have my hide if she found out I was accepting a speed challenge.”

All three boys groan in disappointment.

"Which is why," I continue with a mischievous grin, "what happens in Uncle Olwydd's transport, stays in Uncle Olwydd's transport.”

Their cheers echo through the cave system as I rev the engine, which admittedly doesn't sound very impressive in a golf cart. "Challenge accepted. Buckle up, boys. We're going to warp speed!"

As we zoom through the twisting passageways, the boys' excited shrieks filling the air, I again feel a pang of longing for a family of my own to both love and embarrass in equal measure.

We screech to a halt and the still giggling kids tumble out, their fur a windblown mess.

"Thanks, Uncle Olwydd!" Jac gives me a hug before scampering off.

I watch them head into the series of small caverns that serve as Squatch School, and I’m about to head to work when an utterly irresistible aroma overtakes me. It’s sweet, intoxicating, unmistakable…

And my soulstone hums to life.

CHAPTER 3

BAMBI

My classroom.

The words send a thrill through me, igniting a spark I had long tried to bury. Taking a deep breath, I smooth down my skirt and stand in the cave that serves as my classroom awaiting the arrival of my students.

My students.

"You've got this, Bambi," I mutter under my breath. "It's just like riding a bike."

In truth, I’m ecstatic.

The limestone cavern has been transformed into a cozy learning space, with desks chiseled from stone and walls adorned with colorful charts. It's like something out of a Flintstones-themed Pinterest board, and I'm totally here for it.

A gaggle of Sasquatch youngsters crowd around me, their cute, furry faces beaming with enthusiasm.

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