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She was growing impatient.
“What do you mean it wasn’t a dream?”
Cyrus lifted his head, looking over his shoulder to find Cass leaning in the doorway. His arms were folded across his bare chest. The low fire in the hearth reflected in his eyes. He’d stopped wearing that godsdamn eye patch.
Cyrus straightened, dragging his hand through his sleep-addled hair. “It was nothing,” he finally said, letting his magic stir the fire to life a little more. He moved to the sofa. There would be no going back to sleep now. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“I woke you,” Cass replied. He came to sit beside him before he added, “You were dreaming of Thia.”
“It wasn’t…” Cyrus released a harsh breath. “Forget it.”
“I’m forgetting nothing.”
Cyrus leaned back into the sofa, gaze fixed on the flames. He lifted a hand, letting his magic play with the embers. The silence around them was loud, and his chest was so tight, he couldn’t speak above a whisper when he said, “It wasn’t a dream. It was a memory.”
“Okay…” Cassius said when Cyrus didn’t go. “Tell me why the difference matters.”
“Because she changed them.”
“Who did?”
“Gehenna.” Then he added, “The Sorceress,” when Cassius didn’t react.
He felt Cassius stiffen beside him then. “What do you mean she changed them?”
Cyrus drew the flames out into thin tendrils, absent-mindedly looping them through the air. “Exactly that. She changed my memories. Altered them. Made me relive them but changed the details. So many times that I…”
Of course they made a mistake.
No one wants you, Cyrus.
If you can’t see that all you do is damage everyone around you, then I will keep reminding you until you believe it.
It will be no less than you deserve.
“You what, Cyrus?” Cassius pressed.
Cyrus glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. He was leaning forward, arms crossed and braced on his knees, watching the flames Cyrus was toying with.
Cyrus cleared his throat. “She did it over and over. Kept me trapped in some for hours. The reality and the lies are mixed together so thoroughly. She altered them all, Cass. All the good. The things that reminded me the stars were worth fighting for? She took it all and—”
Cassius was pulling him into his chest, arms wrapping tightly around him and a hand cupping the back of his head. Cyrus hadn’t realized he’d started crying.
“I’m sorry, Cyrus,” he murmured.
“Don’t be,” Cyrus muttered. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”
Cassius stiffened again. “Why would you say that?”
Cyrus gently shoved him back, sliding away from him. “Because she broke me in the end, Cass,” he sighed. “Instead of staying strong, outlasting her until you all came, I gave in when she—”
He stopped, rolling his lips. The fire he’d been playing with faded away.
“We’ll clean it up together, Cyrus,” Cassius said into the now dim room.
“None of you will be saying that when you know…”
“Try me,” Cassius said sharply. “I swore not to tell you to get out again. This won’t change that.”
