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“I’ll tell you a secret, love,” I said, lowering my head again until I was speaking directly into her ear, minimizing the risk of anyone overhearing as the music began to dwindle. “I’ve barelystoppedthinking about it.”
We slowed to a stop as the song came to a close, and although it took nearly everything in me to unlock my muscles, I released her.
She took a step back, giving me just enough room to drink every inch of her in, but before I could do so much asmemorizehow she looked, she bolted.
Chapter 9
Ava
Ineeded air, desperately.
Pushing through the crowd, I made my way to the opposite side of the room from where my father was schmoozing someone into buying stocks. I scanned the wall, looking for any sign of an exit, but I only saw the glowing neon exit sign that definitely wasn’t meant to be used by attendees.
Fuck it.
I pushed the door open and slipped through into a service hallway.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe, felt like I was going to overheat and pass out. The way he’d spoken to me, the way he’dheldme, it was intoxicating and maddening. My body had responded in ways I wasn’t even sure it could in front of that many people, and if I was being truly honest with myself about it, I almost hoped he was following me.
But that would be insane. Almost as insane as the amount of money he’d spent on three minutes with me, almost as insane as my father’s impromptu decision to fucking auction me off, almost as insane as how much I wanted to admit right there on the dance floor how many times I’d touched myself to the idea of him and then how many times I’d done it to the memory.
And to know that he knew who I was that night…
I might actually lose my mind.
The sound of the exit opening behind me as I pushed my way through another door sent my pulse skyrocketing, and I had to tell myself that it was just an employee, just someone pushing a cart or a keg being brought in.
Another door, another exit from me, and the cold autumn air hit me like a fucking brick to the face.Finally.
The balcony was fairly large with a little makeshift garden on it and a golden fence locking it in, looking out over a somewhat quiet back road. The sounds of the city invaded me, but I was growing used to that, and for a moment, I could block them out.
What the fuck was I doing?
Reality sank in like a stone in water. I’d slept with a man nearly twice my age, one whom I’d been dreaming of since I was an inappropriate age. I’d pretended to be someone I wasn’t. I’d begged him to stay. I’d let him touch me in ways I’d never even considered asking to be touched.
I’d known what that would do to me, and I’d let it happen anyway.
I pressed the bottoms of my palms into my eyes, the pressure calming me just slightly, and tried to breathe through it. Emily was right—I shouldn’t have avoided this for as long as I had. I should have gone to that fucking restaurant and done the interview instead of chickening out. I shouldn’t have let it build like this.
The sound of the door slamming open made me jump, and even though I knew I’d find the combination of my worst nightmares and best dreams staring at me, I couldn’t resist the pull.
“Stop fucking avoiding me, Ava.”
He didn’t even pause, didn’t give me a moment to compose myself. He walked across the balcony toward me in his stupidlyattractive black tux, pushing the salt and pepper hair that had fallen in his face out of the way. I didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what Iwantedto do, other than fling myself off the fucking edge of the building.
The distance closed before I could come up with a better idea.
His mouth crashed into mine, demanding my attention, and I didn’t want to do anything other than let him. Hands grasped either side of my face, and God, I felt dizzy, felt like I was back in a stupid teenage dream where I could control what he said to me and shape the scene like a painter in action.
But this wasn’t a dream, and it wasn’t a work of art. It was real life, and neither of us was in full control of the other.
“Fuck,” he rasped, lifting his lips just an inch from mine. “Your father is going to kill me.”
“Please don’t tell him,” I whispered.
The laugh that came from him was filled with disbelief and a hint of irritation. “If I wanted to die, Ava, there are plenty of better ways to do it than offering myself to David Riley on a silver platter.”
His lips met mine again, and this time I sunk into it, my body reacting before my brain. I fisted the front of his suit jacket in my palm, keeping him tethered to me as his mouth explored mine, the taste of red wine lingering on his tongue.
