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At least when it comes to sex, which would meet all of my wants and needs sexually.
But a relationship with Maddie and Eli seems impossible.
Someone would definitely get hurt. Maddie would eventually be forced to have to choose between us. I was jealous as fuck when I found out she had been with Eli behind my back. I think Maddie was not only mad that I didn’t tell her I was bisexual, but she was also jealous when I was with Eli.
Sharing a lover with someone else would be fucking difficult. I would always wonder if I was the third wheel, just getting in the way.
Besides, I doubt Maddie’s strict, mob boss father would let her have two men in her life even if we didn’t fight over her.
Not that I think Eli would bother trying to make it work with both of us in an actual relationship.
How could he when he thinks he’s a monster and his own mother couldn’t even love him? At the first assumption that Maddie prefers me, Eli would jump ship to avoid getting his feelings hurt.
It makes me wonder if Eli’s a sadist, not because he enjoys the power of hurting someone, holding their life in his hands, as much as it is that he’s just inflicting his own deep-seated pain on others because he’s had more hurt in his life than he can possibly handle.
Goddammit.
I think I may have accidentally fallen in love with the son of a bitch when I was eyeball deep in orgasms.
I nearly panicked when Maddie told me she shot him, because I was worried about him. Then I wanted to punch him in the throat for letting Maddie watch us. But I still care about him, worry about the hole in his leg getting infected, hurting him.
He says he likes the pain, but I think it’s all bullshit.
And, surprisingly enough, whatever new things I feel for Eli hasn’t put a damper on my feelings for Maddie.
I love her and I started falling in love with him.
I’m a greedy bastard who wants them both in every way I can possibly have them. I can try to swallow down my jealousy if Eli and Maddie could agree to do the same.
Try.
That doesn’t seem too much to ask, for us to just try.
So, I should probably go tell them I want them both before they get on a plane headed on a one-way flight to Las Vegas.
“I need to go see them,” I tell Colt.
“Okay,” he replies. “You do that. I’ll go have a talk with Deputy Little about the dead men being human traffickers to get him off your ass, you know, in case you need to leave town.”
“Thanks, Colt,” I tell him, meaning for everything.
As soon as I pull into our apartment building’s parking lot, I know I fucked up and overthought shit for too long
Maddie’s car is gone. The one I helped her pick out for emergencies even though she can’t get her license without legal documents proving her identity.
The same car she drove to come and free me from Eli’s torture camper.
I tell myself that maybe she just went to get some breakfast. It’s so early, only seven-thirty. Surely, they haven’t left already to go to the airport.
But Maddie is an early bird. Most days she would have already made two batches of cupcakes by now in Greer’s kitchen.
Needing to know for sure, my heart races as I climb off my bike and remove my helmet while walking up the stairs to the door. The apartment just feels emptier as soon as I unlock the door and take my first step inside the door.
“Maddie?” I call out, even though after hundreds of times I know she won’t answer me back.
I’m too fucking late.
All that coffee threatens to come back up as I head to the bedroom. Ignoring the blood stains on the bedding and the carpet, I open the closet door to find all her things are missing. She took the clothes I helped her buy since she arrived in Rockland with nothing but a bag of money and a gun.
