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Eli
Maddie wanted to leave on the first flight home, so we were up at four fucking a.m.
She left a handwritten note for Jordan and didn’t speak a word to me on the hour drive to the airport or the two-hour wait for our flight. The fact that she was driving the car, even if it was without a driver’s license, was a shock all on its own. Guess she learned lots of new things the past year.
Once we finally get boarded on the plane, Maddie cries the entire flight home. Sometimes, when my eyes are closed and I’m pretending to sleep in the seat next to hers, I even hear her sobs and sniffles.
Her crying hurts me more than the throbbing hole in my leg. I don’t like seeing her in pain, which is fucking unheard of.
I love hurting people. It’s more than a hobby; it’s what I was put on this earth to do.
Maddie is apparently the exception to that rule.
She’s hurting and it’s my fault. I didn’t leave any physical scars, but there are plenty of emotional ones.
Not only did I find her and am currently dragging her to the home she fled, but I also fucked things up with her and her boy.
I bet Jordan is shedding a few tears today too.
The kid tries to act all tough, but he has a sensitive side. He loved Maddie, even if he didn’t really know her. But he also loved being with me.
I’ve had plenty of male and female lovers, and that guy was in heaven whenever I touched him. There wasn’t any fear in him when I had him restrained, threatening to end his life. No fear, just lust. Maybe that’s the real reason I let him live.
Yes, he was too pretty to mess up, but he also wanted me.
Unlike all the others, including Gavin, he wasn’t scared of what I would do to him. Jordan yearned for it all, every second of it.
Even though Gavin was bi, he still didn’t really want my hands, mouth, or dick near him. He only saw me as a monster, not as an attractive man he could love.
I know it wasn’t love with Jordan either. We only spent a few days together. He’s obviously just someone who enjoys pain. A masochist. Or a seriously repressed boy who gave his all to try and be straight day in and day out for so long that when he was alone with me, he was just relieved to be getting what he had really wanted all this time.
Deep down he probably didn’t really even love Maddie. He just loved the idea of being with a beautiful woman, the perfect beard to hide behind. Nobody would see the two of them together and think he was anything but perfectly straight for being able to catch a woman like her.
But looks can be deceiving.
Maddie wasn’t enough for Jordan. She never would have been either. That’s why I shouldn’t feel guilty for taking her away from him.
The only thing I regret is leaving him behind.
Dammit. I should’ve killed him, then I would’ve stopped thinking about him by now and be focused on having Maddie all to myself or finding my next victim. Dante’s next assignment.
It’s not too late.
I could hand Maddie over to her father, get on a flight back to Virginia, and finish what I started.
But for only the second time in my life, I’m not sure I could go through with it.
I guess Maddie isn’t the only person I don’t like to see in pain.
After all, did I ever do anything to Jordan that he didn’t enjoy? Hell no. I couldn’t slice up his perfect skin. I didn’t even want to leave bruises on his tan flesh when he tried to fight me at the garage.
Gavin was the most gorgeous man in the world, and I still took his life with my own hands. I left bruises on his neck while I choked the life out of him. Bruises that will never heal now.
But Gavin fucked up. He wasn’t a man I could trust. He deserved what I did to him.
Jordan, well, I think I could trust him. Maddie did. He gave her a home and a life in Rockland without even knowing her real name.
Glancing over at her, her head is slumped to the side finally sleeping, cheeks still damp from her tears. Maddie’s bruises are faint on her neck, but there. If Dante asks, which I’m sure he will, I’ll tell him it was the PI who grabbed her before I saved her.
