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I close my eyes, exhaling and not allowing myself to cry. He hasn’t texted me—who cares? I still have a job with him, and I still get to love on Gordie and Gretzky. Now, if he fires me, then I’ll cry. I can’t be sad over a guy who doesn’t want me.
That’s his choice, and really, he’s dumb. I’m awesome.
Though, I don’t feel that awesome right now.
I nuzzle my nose in Darcy’s scruff. I really should get up, get my day started, but I’m so warm and comfortable with my pups. I could skip my run today. The only reason I was trying to up my time was so I didn’t embarrass myself when I ran with Riggs. I doubt that will ever happen now.
As much as I love the boys, I may need to quit this gig.
Just as the thought hits, Gordie moves his head to my neck. He sighs contentedly, and my heart warms. No, I can’t quit. I love these boys.
And even though it makes me an idiot, I’m still crushing hard on Riggs.
When my phone dings with a text, I open my eyes, and I’m not gonna lie, I almost come out of my skin. Excitement flushes through my body when I see a message from Riggs. My eyes widen and my heart slams into my ribs as I hit the notification with a shaky thumb.
Riggs: Why in the hell are you sleeping on the floor?
Wait. What?
CHAPTER 13
Riggs
I have decided that not only am I the creep of all creeps, but I may be a wee bit obsessed with Clara.
I’m not sure when it happened. The day I came face-to-face with her and looked deep into her stunning navy eyes? When I felt my heart warm near her for the first time? When we had dinner together, everything around us disappeared, and only she remained? When I made her a PB and J? Or was it, in fact, the day I watched her come in my bed? I don’t know. I’ve been going over it since our little spat that I truly don’t understand.
And all I know is I am desperate for her.
I have spent the last two days in such a foul mood, I don’t know how my boys ignored me and won. Though, they did. Even Alex has given me a wide berth, and whenever my phone goes off, I physically have to toss it aside so I don’t look at the camera. I have been snappy, annoyed, and ready to strangle anyone who looks my way. My poor cock probably has bruises on it from where I have violently jacked off just to get her out of my head.
It hasn’t helped. If anything, the thoughts of her have become more intense.
I only had two days of her texting and teasing me, and those days didn’t suck. I didn’t feel like I was just going through the motions. I was looking forward to our next interaction, laughing at her silliness. And fuck if I don’t want every day to be like that. Yet, I somehow said something wrong, and she got pissed. I’m not surprised; my track record with women isn’t the best. Hence why I’ve been single for fourteen years. My ex would say I never think through what I say, just say it with no cares how someone might take it. Then I apparently became a grumpy fuck, with good reason. And now, I can only get women to fuck me but not want to stay around. Not want me as a whole.
Not that I wanted them to.
Or that I want Clara to want me as a whole.
Right?
Right.
Fuck me.
I was honestly just telling her how I felt, but it was obvious I pissed her off.
Leaving me to be disgusted with myself.
I don’t want to dim her light, but I have, and I should do what’s right. Leave her alone. Stop thinking of her. It’s clear as ice that I can’t be with her. That wanting her to want me as a whole is damn near impossible. There are too many reasons that it wouldn’t work out.
I’m an asshole.
She’s a lovely ball of sunshine.
She’s too young.
My boss is her grandpa.
