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Me: I’m sorry, Grandpa. Do you need me to pick up your meds on the way home?
Riggs: You’re a menace like your dog.
Me: Since I’m so bad for your health, maybe you shouldn’t talk to me.
I’m provoking him. I want him to say that he wants to talk to me, that he enjoys my texts, that he lives for my words. That he wants me.
I should have known better.
Riggs: I am well aware that talking to you is bad for my health.
Me: Then don’t answer my texts.
Riggs: That can be arranged.
Me: Cool. Download the damn app.
Riggs: Maybe I should.
Me: Do it.
Riggs: I will.
Me: Good. See ya, Grandpa.
Riggs: Make sure you eat.
I want to tell him to go fuck himself, but instead, I tuck my phone into my pocket. Gordie is looking up at me expectantly, and I shake my head. “Your dad is an asshole.”
Or maybe I’m just an idiot.
The asshole downloaded the app.
And he hasn’t texted me since.
This is what I get for provoking him. For playing with fire when I knew better. I had plenty of warnings from Elliot, and still, I let myself want him. I let myself think something was brewing between us. I’m such a dumbass. It’s been two days, and the Bears are coming home this morning after winning both games in the series.
While it’s the best of seven in the NHL for all play-off rounds, it’s the best of five in the AHL in the early rounds. The conference final and Cup final rounds are the best of seven. Since this is a conference final, the boys have a lot of work to do, but I have no doubts the Bears won’t be returning to Michigan.
My future brother-in-law is locked in and ready to go. He is leading his team to victory, and it’s a sight to see. His goal is to have a photo of his son in the Cup hanging on the wall. It’s the sweetest thing ever, and I can’t help but love him something insane for loving my sister and nephew so much. The only problem with everyone else being so in love and happy is that I feel more alone than ever. Which is pathetic when I have the best dog in the world that loves me endlessly.
I cuddle closer to Darcy. He sleeps soundly beside me while Gordie sleeps against my back and Gretzky sleeps between my legs. It’s early morning, and I should be getting up to go on my run, but I’m being lazy. Plus, my back is aching from sleeping on the floor the last two nights. I couldn’t bear sleeping in Riggs’s bed. Not with how badly I want him and that he thinks I’m bad for his health. So, instead, I’ve been sleeping with the dogs in their beds. I know that’s pathetic, maybe a bit childish, and I know I’m being stubborn, but it bothers me that he hasn’t texted me.
I really did convince myself he liked me.
But why does it matter? I am a catch. Any guy would love to be with me, so why am I wasting my time being all hung up on a guy who doesn’t even want me? I am better than this. I am ClaraDrew McDavid, a cult survivor, a business owner, and a fucking badass boss bitch! I don’t need a man. I’ve got Darcy, and I can get myself off in seconds.
I’ll just ignore the fact that I get off so quickly because I am thinking of Riggs.
He is replaceable!
Yeah. Replaceable.
I roll my eyes, and I refuse to allow myself to contradict that thought. I also need to remind myself to ignore the ache in my chest, but that might be a bit harder. I want to call Elliot. I want to unload on her and have her tell me that I’m better than this. I just know she’ll tell me she told me so, though. She’ll get all protective and big sister on me, probably kick Riggs in the balls.
She has a habit of being violent when it comes to her sisters.
I think we all love her more deeply for that.
