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The Nevada sun is sizzling hot. Uptempo dance music is being played by a DJ on the temporary stage set up on the green. Dozens of freshmen are walking around starry-eyed with their new student tote bags in their arms and their parents by their sides.
It’s good to finally see some other students on campus. I’ve already been here for several weeks working my ass off in training camp with my new teammates, and while I’m excited about what we’re building as a revamped college ice hockey program, I’m sick of looking at sweaty balls all day in the locker room.
I want tits and ass.
Soft curves and scented skin.
Today is the perfect opportunity to size up all the potential incoming freshmen girls coming to Valencia U. As I watch them walk by, one prettier than the next, I’m like a kid in a candy store.
But of course, there’s always some force in the world that doesn’t want me to be great, and today that evil force is Valencia’s pitiful baseball team. They’ve been giving us shit since the moment we arrived on campus and today is no different.
“Yo, don’t you fuckwads have somewhere else to be?” A third baseman with a big head and a bad attitude says to Neo, a teammate I’ve immediately hit it off with and who is arguably one of the best recruits on our newly formed team, besides me of course.
“I was about to ask you the same question considering that this event is strictly for students new to the school and not some creepy fuck junior trying to find a girl who knows nothing about the fact that you gave at least five girls on this campus an STD last year.”
I laugh so hard that the blue Gatorade I’m drinking flies straight out of my mouth and splatters on the shirt of another player on their team.
“Fuck!” the guy yells at me, immediately shaking out the back of his shirt in disgust.
“I dare you to say that shit again!” The third baseman roars at Neo.
“Oh, are we going to pretend that your dick isn’t out here committing crimes on a daily basis?” Another one of my teammates, Bass, steps forward to say.
Neo, Bass and I get along well and have had a few drunken brawls since we started preseason on campus but out of all the other athletes I’ve met since arriving, the baseball team has got to be the most insecure group of dickheads I’ve ever met. They’re threatened by us in so many ways but it’s a real simple fix. Universities reward winners. If they would just win some of their damn games, then they wouldn’t have to worry about us at all. But now that we’re here, they’ve definitely got shit to worry about.
Coach Dixon is a former NHL legend and a new hire to the university. He was brought in to dismantle the old hockey program and rebuild it from the ground up. He decided to shake things up, and all the upperclassmen on last year’s roster were excused from the team, leaving it an all-freshman squad now. Needless to say, there are many students (and parents) who are rooting for our downfall because of how we were brought in. They didn’t think it was fair to those former players especially the ones on scholarship.
While we’re new to the school and certainly have a lot to prove, one thing I feel in my bones is that we’re going to win games this season. Each one of us was plucked from some of the very best high school ice hockey programs in the country and we’ve been assembled to win not a few years down the line but this season. Immediate results are expected and will be achieved.
Coach was telling us the other day, and I don’t think he was blowing smoke up our asses, that we are the most important financial investment the school has made in the last ten years outside of infrastructure. And while that might scare the average freshman, when we’re on the ice, I feel the truth in his words. We’re about to do something special in college hockey.
Typically, I would laugh off the baseball team’s jealous bullshit and sit back while some of my other teammates manhandle them but today is different.
For one, if things get too out of hand today, of all days, the blowback from the university could fall on our heads, and we’re too important to let that happen.
Second, my Mom is here this weekend just like many other parents, and she’ll kill me if I embarrass her by getting into any sort of trouble publicly.
My recruitment to VCU hasn’t been easy on her. I’m from New Jersey and Vegas is clear across the country. While there’s FaceTime and a million other ways to keep in touch, it doesn’t change that I’ve been the center of her world ever since my Dad passed away and the adjustment of me not living at home will be difficult for her.
“Hmm, what did that fine-ass Kardashian-looking girl tell us, the other night, Shane?” Bass taunts the third baseman. “Something about it’s a good thing the university health center treats Syphilis for free.”
I guess the syphilis comment hit too close to home because the next thing I know, a meaty fist connects with Bass’s left eye, and Neo’s already got another player pinned to the ground with his knee.
The whole thing would be hysterical if it wasn’t for the horrified looks of several visiting parents walking by, which only made me think of my mom, who luckily is otherwise occupied in the auditorium right now.
Before Bass annihilates the dude, which he would because if there’s one thing that guy can do is fight, I get in between them both before things escalate out of control. It’s already bad enough that blows have been exchanged and that a small group of people have formed a semi-circle around us to witness it.
“Let’s save this for another time, everybody,” I tell both groups using a casual tone. “Too many eyes on us.”
Then I turn to Neo who still hasn’t moved one inch. It takes a lot to get him to react so I wonder what the other guy said to him to rattle his cage.
“Neo, let him up before you kill him in front of the new kids and scar them for life.”
Neo silently lifts his knee and the red-faced baseball player stands to his feet with a look of pure malice in his eyes.
“You hockey assholes better stop believing your own hype,” the douchebag says. “You can’t just go around our campus, dicks barely wet, and think you own shit around here. You’ve done nothing yet!”
“And neither have you,” another one of my teammates says, flipping them off.
