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He drained his glass and leaned back. “The fun thing is that you get to weave a lot of pleasure into that process. Pleasure overrides shitty memories.”
“So, what you’re saying... is that all submission is bred from trauma?”
“Not at all. There are many subs who need structure for other reasons. Everyone, every couple, every scene is different.”
Sloan Mercer put his hands behind his head, silently waiting for me to gather myself. My thoughts ping-ponged around my skull, forming a picture of the woman back at my house. The woman who had been touching herself in my old bed.
For Maddie, I reminded myself.
“Go on,” I said at last. Bile burned the back of my throat.
“She’s already leaving clues as to what she needs,” said Mercer. “She’ll never outwardly tell you. It’s your job to interpret those clues and do what she needs. Answer the call, if you will.”
We rested on the mirrored chaise lounges for what must have been a quarter of an hour, maybe more. I may have even dozed.
Eventually, he stood. “Would you like a tour?”
Even though he’d phrased it as a question, he wasn’t actually asking. He took me around to every room. Some were in use.
“These couples have consented to having voyeurs, so it’s okay to look inside,” Mercer said, pulling open one an ornate covering to reveal a peephole.
My upper lip twitched into a sneer. If we did this, and that was a big if, there would be no consent for people to watch. Despite my disgust, I peered inside to see a woman bound in ropes on her knees and sucking off a man wearing a mask. Raising my brows, I moved on.
Swings. Tables. Rubber floors. Crossed boards with shackles. Lots of tools for spanking. If it could be imagined, this place had the goods.
A smile grew on Sloan’s face like an excited child when he spoke about his favorite areas. Ward and Belle might frequent places like this, but I would leave this club to them.
I needed to focus on Maddie.
Only Maddie.
Sloan took me back to the front, where the receptionist sipped a cup of coffee. “I’ll give you a free coaching session. You won’t regret it.” He held out his card to me.
I already had his number, but now I had all his contact information, surrounded by a snake logo and the word Serenity on the back. When I looked up again, he smiled and revealed his forked pink tongue.
Geez, piercing was one thing, but splitting the tongue entirely? Sick mo-fo!
Clearing my throat, I left Serenity and the weirdo behind me. I couldn’t decide if it was worth coming here. I’d gained some information, but I had also left Maddie alone. I got on my motorcycle and sped off.
When I reached my house outside the Ridge, I cringed. The lights were on inside, bright against the starry night. The light streaming out from the windows created shadows under the smaller cacti near the house.
Maddie was surely awake, because who could sleep with every light in the house shining like it was high noon? Fuck, she probably waited for me. In my stupid head, I believed she’d fall asleep and wouldn’t miss me for the few hours it took to go to Phoenix and back.
The situation before I left had scared me enough to drive a need to better understand. I hadn’t been able to control myself before, fucking my hand, pretending it was her. Deep inside, I thought wanting her after all she’d been through made me a sick bastard.
Women to fuck was never my problem. In fact, I hadn’t been a virgin since before I shot my daddy. I had never had to pay whores, but still had my cock sucked regularly. There were enough sweetbutts in the Ridge and LA, and Phoenix bred women hungry for cock.
This was different.
Maddie was different.
Getting all romancy and shit had never been on my radar. Then again, Serenity had been the farthest thing from a romantic venue.
I had never thought of having an ol’ lady like Celt or Wilde or even Angel. I had never cared enough for another person, but then came Maddie.
I wouldn’t be an easy man to love.
But could I make her obey?
