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“You should go too,” I said to Mel.
The two shared a look. A silent message passed between them. I hated them for it.
“What’s going on?” Mel asked, taking a step toward him.
I spun around on my heel and opened the cabinets, pretending to look for food as tears burned my eyes.
“Church.” Angel’s voice lowered, and he murmured something I couldn’t hear to Mel.
“Yeah, go,” Mel answered. “Be careful.”
“I’ll be back soon,” said Angel, and then his footsteps echoed toward the door. The hinges creaked, and the door shut behind him. Acar engine roared, and the sound faded into the distance.
“If you’re hungry,” offered Mel as I still picked through the cabinets, “I could make you something to eat.”
“I can make myself something to eat,” I grumbled.
Mel came to stand next to me at the counter. “Do you have any tea?”
Cook wasn’t a tea-drinking person. “There’s coffee.” I slammed the cabinet door, turned, and marched away from her. “I’m not hungry.”
“Maddie?!”
I walked into my room and shoved the door closed. I would clean up after her when she left, but I wasn’t talking.
“Maddie?” Her voice came again, this time closer to the door.
I reached down and flipped the little lock. The mechanism on the knob wasn’t strong, nothing like the metal braces and padlocks Signora had used to keep us locked away. That door could be kicked down in a second, but I hoped Mel would just go away.
She knocked. “Maddie, come on. Let me in.” A pause extended for several seconds. “Please.”
“No.”
“I don’t want to upset you, Maddie, but we need to talk.” Knock, knock. She jiggled the doorknob.
I gritted my teeth. She didn’t listen to me, so why the hell would I want to talk?
As much as I didn’t want to have the hard conversation with Mel, I also didn’t want to walk out into the desert, where I could die of thirst. Maybe I could just wait her out.
“Maddie, I don’t want to talk to a door. Let me in, please. Tell me what I can do.” A soft thud came through the closed door, as though she rested her head or a hand on the other side. “I need to reconnect with you. For you to trust me and talk to me.”
I turned the lock and yanked the door inward, glaring at her as she stumbled a little in surprise. “Trust you? That’s rich when you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said since you put me in the back of your car.”
“I have.”
“Bullshit!”
My hands trembled. The ghosts were starting to come back. The memories of everyone telling me what to do and what was good for me. Everyone except Cook. He gave me the freedom to shine. To have the sun on my face. He gave me the warm and safe place to curl up as well as the punishment I needed to get out of my head.
Remembering him, I could be strong and not let Mel send me into that dark place again.
I left my sister at the door and scanned the room for paper and a pen. I could get it out again, but this time, I didn’t think I would be so out of control.
I pulled open a drawer in the dresser. Nothing but clothes.
“Maddie.”
I yanked the entire drawer out of the nightstand, junk scattering across the rug.
