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“Maddie.” His voice cut through the haze, rumbling with exerted power.
A scream built in my throat as I brought the pencil down again, but when I raised my hand, it was caught. His fingers tightened on my wrist like he was checking my pulse. His iron-like grip kept me from bringing it down.
“Maddie,” he repeated in a stony voice, leaving no room for argument.
A mixture of anger, sadness, and pain melted off my bones. I slacked a little in his grasp, but I didn’t release my weapon. I would stab it through the eye of any captor, and I would tear out their eye and feed it to animals that howled at night. Once the wolves got a scent of their blood, they would hunt them. And with the taste of it, they’d swarm.
“Stop this,” he said through clenched teeth.
As much as I wanted to listen, my body was its own master now, despite how my heart and my mind were falling toward the safety of Cook. I had to build a shell around myself against every person who had ever hurt me. My outbreaks would hurt everyone, including Mel. Lanie. My sister. One had already hurt my sister. My bones were growing too heavy for my jelly muscles.
“Turn it off,” said Cook. “This chaos in your head. Turn. It. Off.”
My mind was one thing. My body another. My heart something separate. The last only wanted him.
“I can’t,” I admitted, tightening my grip on the pencil.
He flicked his gaze from the pencil and down to my eyes.
“Don’t make me do this,” he said in a low, husky voice.
I didn’t know what he meant. I wasn’t making him do anything.
“Fuck! You need it,” he said, snatching the pencil from my hand and breaking it in half. Then he pulled me to my feet and dragged me out of the room.
Chapter 19
Maddie
Cook tightened the ropes onmy wrists that connected me to his bed as I lay face down on the mattress, struggling to breathe. The fear was curled around my neck, but I wasn’t scared of Cook. Not even as he stepped back, sweeping his gaze over my body.
How long had I wanted to be naked in his bed? I had dreamed about it. Imagined it when I touched myself. Even last night, after he fucked me and I had orgasmed out, I couldn’t wait to get home and be in his bed, surrounded by his dark and spicy scent.
This, however, wasn’t how I expected it to go, but I didn’t fight it either.
My body was rigid like it had a mind of its own, and I thought that was why he was standing back with his lips pursed. My hair twisted around my face from the thrashing, and he walked over, brushing it behind my ear. His fingers were gentle, unlike the hardness that had pulled me into his bedroom, or the stern look written in the V of his brows, line of his lips, and clench of his jaw.
I almost broke my neck to try to sink my teeth into his fingers, but he whipped them back fast. I bit air.
“Maddie,” he growled, and I laughed.
There myDaddywas. He had been kind, but I didn’t need or want kind. No one had ever been kind to me, and the kindness wouldn’t putme back together. I was broken.
The pain of what happened to me was eating me alive. I didn’t want more pain, but it’s all I knew. I just wanted to be free. They should’ve left me behind, because I’m too fucked up to be allowed around people. The look in everyone’s eyes told me how sick I was, except for what I saw in Cook. It was like he knew. He didn’t need to tell me or talk about it. We already knew.
Cook grabbed his belt, turning the buckle in his hand, and I released the deep breath I had been holding. While he wore a stony face, one that hid his feelings about this, the bulge in his pants told me another story. It wanted this much as I did.
Still, Daddy’s face remained painfully neutral and distant.
What a deserving brat I was, ignoring his orders. Trying to attack him. I had to gain control over something. Anything.
But I was his to have.
Daddy’s.
Pulling against the ropes that bound my wrists and ankles, I pushed up until I balanced on my knees and elbows. He couldn’t lay me out flat on the bed—there wasn’t the space. The bed at Serenity had been bigger, and I’d been hanging from higher points. That wasn’t available here.
“Maddie,” he warned as I pulled against the ropes.
