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We danced and swayed in the crowded room. Eventually the tension left my body and the mix of alcohol loosened me up enough to not be a nervous mess with him. Finally, when the third song ended, I stepped back from him.?
“I should really go find Alex.” I was hot; I could feel the perspiration building between my shoulder blades.
Jon nodded toward the stairs. “I think I saw him go upstairs.”
I looked over my shoulder at the stairs. “Thanks.”?
“Come back for another dance.” His smile was unreadable, or maybe it was the alcohol. “I like dancing with you.”
I headed upstairs slowly, my grip on the railing tight. I pushed the first two doors open, but no one was there. The last room on the left, the one Juni and I were in earlier, was slightly ajar. I pushed it open a little more, my eyes adjusting to the dark. There was movement by the floor of the bed, and then I froze.
Amanda was on her knees, eyes closed. I could just make out the bobbing of her head. Alex was leaned up against the corner of the bed, his side profile presented to me, head lulled back, eyes closed. Pleasure evident on his face.?
When I looked back at Amanda, it wasn’t her anymore.
It was me.
The world tilted on its axis and he had his hand fisted in my hair, my hands duct taped behind my back, choking on him. My chest tightened and I couldn’t get in a deep breath.
I can’t breathe.
I pulled the door shut and ran.?
Back downstairs, I pushed through the crowd of bodies until I got out the back door, the muggy air finally hitting my face. I struggled to bring in a deep breath.
“Wren?”??
I heard someone behind me, but the panic put me in a vice grip, and I still couldn’t breathe. My hands clawed at my throat, wanting to tear it open so I could just get a breath.
Someone pounded on my back, and it startled me so much I was finally able to drag in air.
“You alright, Wren?” Jon, another boy, and Juni were all staring at me, wide-eyed.
“I think she’s having a panic attack,” Juni said.
“I-I’m fine,” I stuttered out.
“Sure you are. Chance, can you go grab her a drink?” Juni’s hand was on my back now and I didn’t have the fightin me to ask her to stop. I couldn’t tell her that being touched just made it worse.
I thought I was going to get through tonight without having a freaking breakdown.??
“What happened, girl?”
I shook my head, bending over and holding my knees. “Nothing. . . It just got. . .way too fucking hot in there,”I lied.
The smell of weed hit me hard, and I finally looked up and noticed the blunt in her hand, Teddy hovering a few feet behind her, watching us.
“Are you okay?” She took a drag, blowing the smoke away from me.
I nodded at her. “Just. . .peachy.” My words were stretched, and I teetered on my feet.
“Woah, there.” A hand at my back steadied me.
“Here.” I accepted the refill from Chance.
“Did you find Alex?” Jon asked.
“Mhm,” I hummed. “He’s. . .busy.” I took in another breath, but the air was mingled with smoke and a cough ripped through me.
