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CHAPTER 43
WREN
Tuesday morning felt surreal.I had woken up to a vase of flowers that had been picked from my garden and a note from Alex letting me know he had gone to town to drop off the car he had been borrowing.
Alex is alive.
I would be saying this to myself over and over again, probably for the rest of my life. I kept expecting to wake up and realize it was all a dream.
I had been a little disappointed to wake up and find he wasn’t around, but at the same time, it gave me a minute to breathe, center myself with this reality.
Alex is alive, he’s back, we slept together, now what?
I had no idea where we were at. We spent the weekend in bed. Exploring each other, asking questions, rediscovering. It was a mix of bliss and confusion, because where did we go from here?
I couldn’t get Alex to talk much last night, so after our bath we ended up watchingThe Outsidersuntil we crawled into bed.
I got in a quick workout at the gym and now I was heading to the grocery store. Since living on my own, I had been bad about keeping much food in the house. Alex had been suffering. We’d had spaghetti two nights in a row, and even though he didn’t complain, I was sure he would like more of a variety.
I made my rounds, picking up some essentials and choosing a few old recipes to make.
I chewed on my lip, second-guessing some of my choices. Rather than letting my mind get the better of me, I pulled out my phone and shot Alex a text.
W: I’m at the store. Anything you don’t like?
A: I’m not picky. I’ll eat whatever you make.
I let out a frustrated sigh. His response wasn’t helpful.
I typed out,See you at home. But I stopped myself from sending it. Was my place home for him? Did he plan on going back to the warehouse and staying there?
I felt like I was standing on a log in the middle of the ocean. I didn’t have my balance. I didn’t know what was up and down.
Six years ago, I was solid in knowing him. Knowing where we were going, and I knew back then I could make simple decisions without second-guessing myself.
Now, I didn’t even know if he still liked red apples over green ones.
I went with my gut. I picked green. I even bought a container of caramel, because the green apples always went well with caramel, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had any.
Standing in the chip aisle, a thought came to me, and I called Riley.
“Hey, Riley, I have an idea. . .”
Riley and I chatted quickly. She was on board with my plan, and I had a few more errands to run to get everything into place. As I was loading things into the cooler that I kept in the back of my SUV, my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Wren, I need to talk to you.” Melissa’s voice was stressed. I was a little shocked to hear from her. I hadn’t spoken to her since the night Alex showed up, and I honestly didn’t know if I wanted to talk to her.
I liked Melissa, but I wasn’t deluded enough to think that shewould choose me over Jon. Jon had given her a job and she’d had an obvious crush on him for years.
“Hey, Mel. What’s up?” I asked hesitantly, still loading things into the car.
“Are you in town? Can you meet me at the sandwich shop?”
I wanted to tell her no. Jon’s messages had finally stopped coming in, and I wasn’t ready to see him yet. This seemed like an obvious ploy to get me in the same place as him. I imagined showing up to find him sitting there with her.
I don’t know if I ever wanted to see him again. Alex and I needed to talk about him. I still wanted to believe it was all a mistake and that he hadn’t betrayed me. That he hadn’t come up with some scheme to make me believe Alex was dead. There was no way I would ever forgive him.
