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“Ezra!” Dad exclaimed as he walked into the room. “Why are you having this conversation with my son on the kitchen floor?” His face went crimson. “He’s an adult now. We don’t have to talk to them about these things. He’s careful.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Not like you wanted to have them before. Those were some of the most awkward parts of my teenager years.” But I had appreciated them. Talking with Seth and Ezra was easier. The two of them never held back about anything. They had answered a lot of my questions.
“Why are we sitting on the floor?” Dad sank down next to me.
“Girl talk.” Ezra winked.
Dad giggled. “Am I crashing your party?” He rested his head on my shoulder.
“No, you’re not. Not ever,” I assured him. I leaned back to wrap both my arms around Ezra and my father, which only made them snuggle closer. “You’re like tapeworms.”
Ezra snorted. “CC doesn’t mind.”
“CC is your husband,” Dad reminded him. “But Jax doesn’t mind when I get like this, either.”
I thought back to the stories they had told me. How Dad and Pop had that secret summer relationship. When Dad realized he wasn’t straight. Only to ruin everything. I knew Dad had struggled after that with being close to anyone. He was angry all the time, lashing out and drinking too much. Maybe he would understand what I was going through.
“I’m not even going to ask.” Pop chuckled as he walked into the kitchen and over to the fridge.
“Come join the cuddle party, Goose.” Dad’s voice always took on this tone to it when he spoke to Pop. It was filled with years of loving someone. Knowing them inside and out. His soulmate.
Pop raised a brow. “You want me to get on the floor with you, Ezra, and our son?”
“Uh, duh. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t.” Dad’s voice shook with laughter as Pop leaned forward to scoop him up into his arms.
Pop smirked. “I’d rather have you all to myself, sweetheart.” He winked at me. “No offense, Ez.”
“Oh, boo, no offense taken.” Ezra started to stand up, but I beat him and helped him to his feet. He brushed himself off before he turned to me. I thought he was about to give me another lecture but instead, he moved in to hug me. “Such a gentlemen. I’m always a text or phone call away.”
“Ezra, you don’t have to leave,” Dad said, still clinging to Pop like a baby sloth.
He waved his hand in the air. “This feels like a family thing.”
“You are family, Ezra,” Pop said.
Ezra gasped. “Oh, Jackson, that is the sweetest thing to say to me. I consider you my family, too, but this just feels like something the three of you need to do alone. And you know that’s a big deal for me to say because I do love all the tea.”
“We’ll talk later,” Dad assured him, then waved his hand for Pop to put him down. “Text me later, boo. I know you’ll be bored without Carson around. We’ll grab lunch tomorrow.”
Ezra nodded. “Says you. I have ways to keep myself busy, and that includes all the phone sex with my husband. But lunch sounds great. Bye, boos!”
I waited until Ezra had closed the door behind him and could no longer overhear what I might have to say. It wasn’t that I thought he was going to gossip about it, tell the WAGs all of my business... Well, maybe just a little, but I wanted to tell my parents first. Give them a heads up about what was inside of my fucked-up brain.
“I need to tell you both something.” I kept my gaze on my hands as I twisted my fingers together in my lap.
This was going to hurt. They would probably hate me and kick me out. Regret ever calling me their son and loving me like they had. I should pack my shit and leave.
Dad leaned his smaller frame against mine. “Whatever it is, Andy, we love you. We’ll stand behind you no matter.” He placed a hand on my arm.
“You’re our son, our first child, and we’re here for you, no matter what,” Pop added. “Even if you think it might be the worst thing you’ve ever done. We care. We love you so much.”
I tasted the bile in my throat, and my vision blurred. “You might change your mind once you’ve heard what I have to say.”
Dad forced my head up, and worry tightened his green eyes. “Baby boy.” He brushed the hair from my forehead,his calloused hand cool against my skin. “We are so proud of you and the man you’ve become. You’ve accomplished so much in such a shortamount of time. There is nothing you can say or do that will ever change how we feel about you. We love you so much.”
Here goes nothing.
“I’ve been drinking. A lot. And I’ve been having these thoughts that scare me.” I took a shaky breath.“And I know... I know what you said. You warned me to stay from the booze and any drugs, but the temptation was just there in front of me. I didn’t want anyone to think that I wasn’t cool or whatever. I tried to resist, but I felt like everyone was judging and laughing at me when I declined. I told myself it would be one drink, just one time. I’m sorry. I know that I messed everything up.”
