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I pulled back to look at him. “Why are you scared, hon?”
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t... Help me.”
“I will always help you, but you need to tell me what you need help with first.”
Andy rolled onto his back. “I keep having these thoughts.”
“What does that mean?” He had my full attention now. “What kind of thoughts?” I touched his face and forced Andy to look at me.
More tears spilled from his eyes, slid down his cheek, and soaked his shirt. He was silent for so long that I thought maybe he wasn’t going to answer. “Ones where I think that everyone would be better off without me.”
“Andy, no.” I sat up as what he said hit me.
He twisted around so his face was in his pillow and then let out a loud, heartbreaking scream. There was no way his fathers weren’t going to hear that. I tried to comfort him, but Andy pushed me away.
“I don’t deserve you.” He sat up. “You should probably leave. You don’t want me. I’ve already ruined your life once, just like I ruined my mother’s, and soon, my dads’.”
I shook my head. “Don’t you dare say that. Maverick and Jackson love you.” I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. “Ilove you.”
“How?” Andy exclaimed. “I’m a monster. How could you love me? I’m no good for you or anyone else. I don’t deserve to share the air you breathe.”
My vision blurred. “Andy, hon, tell me you didn’t mean that. That you won’t hurt yourself.”Or worse.I left the last part off, because it terrified me more than anything.
He pushed his face back into the pillow as he mumbled something I couldn’t understand. How long had this been going on? Had Andy had these kinds of thoughts all along? Could I have helped him sooner?
“You can talk to me about whatever you’re feeling or what’s going on in your mind. If you need to vent or cry or scream, I’m here for you.”
“Thank you.” Andy twisted his body toward me.
I nodded my head. “I will always be here for you,” I assured him, combing my fingers through his hair.
“These thoughts, these feelings, they started a couple of months ago. Like this little voice inside my head telling me that I was worthless and not good enough. Those people only liked me because I was famous. They didn’t really care about me at all,” he confessed.
I let my fingers caress Andy’s face. His eyes fluttered shut, and he seemed to relax. “You know that isn’t true. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
“Do you mean it?” Andy’s eyes flew open, his mouth slightly open. When I nodded, he moved closer. “Have you...Have you ever been with anyone else?” he whispered.
I hummed softly. “I’ve gone on some dates.” I slid over so that our bodies were nearly touching. “A few unsatisfying kisses, but there was no connection with any of them.”
I didn’t ask him the same question. I was sure that the truth would destroy me. I pressed a finger to his lips when he started to speak, then replaced it with my mouth.
Heat exploded through my body, and I moaned when Andy pushed me onto my back, his heavy body splayed over mine. His hands twisted in my hair as he licked his way into my mouth, his erection pressed against my stomach. I dug my nails into his shoulders, arched my hips, and sucked hard on Andy’s tongue as he kissed me like it was the first time. And the last.
“Ricky, fuck, I missed this mouth.” His hazel eyes had grown dark, and when I chased after him for more, he didn’t stop me.
This was what had been missing from my life. Lust, want, and desire. My entire body buzzed with heat.
I wanted to stay like this forever: Beneath Andy, while he had his way with me. While he kissed me, loved me, fucked me. I wanted him to break me apart before he put me back together again. He was the only one I would ever allow to do that.
When Andy pulled back again, I let him. This was a lot to process after everything he had been carrying around.
“You’re leaving tomorrow.” That wasn’t what I expected him to say.
I brushed the hair from his face. “It’s only until Sunday.”
“That’s four days. I don’t want you to go, baby.” Andy’s voice cracked, and he rolled onto his back.
I hummed softly. “I know.” I slid my hand up his chest and cupped his cheek. “I’d ask you to come with me, but I’m not sure that’s the best idea right now. You need some sort of normalcy to rest and recharge yourself. Spend some time with your dad.” I brushed the hair from his forehead.
