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“We’re doing good. Thank you. How are you?” I return, noticing Raptor in the next aisle over and pretending not to listen in on our conversation.
“I’m doing good. Thank you,” she responds as I take in her name tag. I’ve been to this woman before and never knew her name is Angie. I’ll have to remember it for the next time I come in here and come through her line.
Angie rings up the groceries as I watch the total get higher and higher. My heart starts pounding in my chest because I know I’m not going to have enough for what I need for the week. Tears fill my eyes as I start deducting my food from the total.Embarrassment courses through my veins and I know Raptor is going to hear me tell Angie I need to take things off because I don’t have the money.
“I’m sorry. I have to take things off the total. There’s not enough money,” I tell Angie once she gives me the total. A lone tear slides from my eye and rolls down my cheek before falling to the floor at my feet.
“Sure, Honey,” she says, a sad smile on her face as she looks at me with pity filled eyes.
I pull off all the food I added for myself and the small container of chocolate milk. It’s been so long since I’ve had any milk and today the chocolate looked so good. Oh well! Maybe another time I’ll be able to afford getting something like that. After all, it’s a luxury and not a necessity. Once all of my food has been removed, I pay the bill for Matie’s things and quickly load the bags up in the bottom of the stroller.
“I’m so sorry, Angie. I can put all of this stuff back,” I tell her, reaching over to grab the things I took off the bill.
“That’s not necessary, Sweetheart. You get that sweet baby home and let me worry about this stuff,” she says as a younger guy walks up and grabs the food I just had to put back.
“Thank you,” I say before leaving the store with blurry vision from the tears filling my eyes.
The second I’m out of the grocery store, the dam breaks and there’s no stopping the tears from spilling. I try to remain quiet so I don’t upset Matie as I quickly walk through the parking lot of the store and toward the sidewalk that will lead me to the apartment. Again, I feel as if we’re being followed but I can’t bring myself to check it out. I have a feeling deep in my gut that it’s Raptor and I can’t deal with his stupid ass right now. Herequires too much energy and time that I don’t have to give him. I’m not at work and this is my private time.
With every step I take, the pain, hunger, and guilt eats away at me a little more. I’m literally doing the very best I can for Matie, but I can’t help but wonder if he’d be better off with Mr. and Mrs. Pratt. They have a good home, money to get him everything he’ll need and want, and they’ll love him because he’s their grandson. I’m a broke waitress at a strip club with no future ahead of me because I can’t afford to go to school despite it once being my dream and what I worked so hard through high school for. The realization quickly hit me that I would never attend more than a community college and even that’s out of my price range. Every cent I’m not hiding away for us in the future is being spent on Matie right now for clothing and all the other necessities he needs on a daily basis.
“Raptor, you can quit following me. I know how to get to my apartment just fine. If you think I’m going to allow you to yell at me and threaten me again, it’s not gonna happen in front of the baby. Please, leave me alone,” I call out, my voice breaking as my steps become quicker and I can hear the booted steps behind me moving quicker as well. “Go. Away!”
My voice cracks and a pain fills my already raw throat. The steps behind me falter and I know it’s time to cross the street and get away from Raptor. Checking both directions, I make sure there’s no traffic coming either way and head across the road at a fast pace. Again, the steps behind me follow and frustration fills me as more tears spill faster and faster from my eyes. Matie is falling asleep and I really don’t want to wake him up or startle him by yelling at the asshole behind me. So, I keep my mouth shut and try to pretend he’s not here again. It doesn’t work, but I try my best to get away from the prick and home as fast as I possibly can.
By the time I reach the front door of the apartment complex, I see the normal dealers out front as they look me up and down like I’m their next meal. This happens daily and I know they just want to fuck me so they can get close enough to bring me into their stable of prostitutes. These fuckers aren’t too smart and they like to talk amongst one another very loudly when my windows are open. I listened to them lay out their plan in great detail about two months ago and I’ve tried avoiding them ever since.
Today, they look over my shoulder and don’t say a word to me. It’s not normal for them and I know immediately Raptor has something to do with them remaining quiet the second I walk up to the unlocked door and head inside while maneuvering the stroller. No one helps me and I don’t ask for help at all. I’ve never asked for help and no one will find me doing so now. With the door closed behind me, I wonder once again when it will be fixed. The outer door is supposed to be one of those security doors you need a key for. This one hasn’t locked for as long as I’ve lived here. I’m sure Raptor will have something to say about where I live the next time I see him. He can kiss my fucking ass.
Getting to my apartment at the end of the hallway, I unlock the door and get Matie inside. Leaving him in his stroller so I don’t wake him up, I put away his things before I look around the empty kitchen to try and find something to eat. My stomach is empty and I honestly don’t remember the last time I ate anything more than a few stale saltines. It’s obviously been a very long time considering the fact that I can’t remember. I finally find a piece of bread left in the bag and a slice of cheese in the refrigerator. Putting it together, I eat the half cheese sandwich and grab a cup out of the cupboard and fill it withwater. Drinking it down, I get to work cleaning the apartment while Matie sleeps.
Chapter Five
Raptor
WATCHING GENESIS PUT back every bit of food she got for herself while keeping everything for the baby broke something deep inside me. Seeing the humiliation and shame covering her face along with the embarrassment further shattered whatever broke to begin with. The only good thing in the entire situation was seeing how she put her baby before herself and made sure he has what he needs. However, knowing she’s going without any food is not something I can stand by and allow to happen. Genesis needs to fucking eat and not have to worry about if she actually has any food to do so. I know Enchantment doesn’t have food so if she doesn’t have anything at home and isn’t able to eat at work, it means she’s not eating at all. Her body isn’t getting the nourishment and fuel it needs to get through each day. Especially when she works in a fast paced environment where she’s moving and racing around like crazy.
Knowing that she lives in an apartment building with no locking security door only served to piss me off further. Genesis lives on her own from what I can tell with a baby and there’s nothing to keep the assholes out of her building. Yeah, I saw the dealers standing around, eyeing up Genesis as if she were their next meal. They want her and aren’t going to ask permission to take what they want. Stupid fucks like that never do. I can’tunderstand why Morgan hasn’t said a fucking word to anyone here in the club. She is at Genesis’ apartment five days a week and should realize we’d help get her in a place where she doesn’t need to fucking worry every second of the day that something is gonna happen to her. Or her baby.
Walking in the clubhouse, I let the door slam behind me as I look for Devil. He’s the one person who knows what Genesis makes at her job and the one person who should ensure all of his employees make a wage they can live on. I spot him sitting at the end of the bar with a beer in hand and a look of despair in his eyes. I stomp over to him, not giving a fuck who’s around to hear what I have to say to him.
“Do you fuckin’ know how Genesis lives? Where she fuckin’ lives?” I question my best friend as his head snaps up and he glares at me.
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about, Raptor? I don’t know where Genesis lives. Yeah, I got the address in her file, but I’ve never been there. And what the fuck do you mean about how she lives? I imagine she lives the way the rest of us do,” Devil says, sitting up straight on his stool as Vault enters the room and stares at us both, waiting to see what’s going to happen.
“I just watched her put back every bit of food she got for herself. It wasn’t much to begin with and she wasn’t able to get any of it. You don’t serve food at the strip club. If she doesn’t have food at home and she’s not eatin’ there, Genesis doesn’t eat. She makes sure the baby has food, formula, diapers, and whatever else he needs while she goes without. Genesis is fuckin’ starvin’ and she hasn’t said anythin’ to anyone. She walked away with tears in her fuckin’ eyes, cryin’ because she’s so fuckin’ hungry and was embarrassed because she didn’t have the money for her purchase and had to put most of it back.
“The apartment buildin’ she lives in doesn’t have a lockin’ security door. Dealers linger outside the buildin’, starin’ at her when she comes and goes. They’re not gonna leave her alone. I saw the look in their eyes and it’s one I’ve seen way too many times in the past. They’re gonna take what they want from her and won’t give a fuck about the damage they do. She has no one to protect that baby and her,” I growl, anger filling me as I look around the room. “I thought this club was better than that. That we take care of those who work for us. Genesis has gone above and beyond up until recently and we’re all showin’ her how fuckin’ little we care about her.”
Devil sits there and says nothing for several minutes. His eyes slowly fill with anger as he jumps up from the chair and searches around the common room. I watch on as he finds Morgan sitting with Kat and makes his way over to her.
“Why haven’t you said anythin’ to anyone here, Morgan? You’ve been in her apartment several times and have said nothin’. What do you eat when you’re at her place with the baby?” Devil questions her, his voice full of anger and rage as he glares down at her with loathing in his eyes as we all step up closer to them.
“I haven’t said anything because it’s no one’s business. Genesis is doing the absolute best she can on her own raising a baby that’s not even fucking hers. She’s scared every fucking day that someone is going to find out she doesn’t have any right to keep that baby and will take him from her. None of you here will ever understand what the fuck is going through her head or understand how she feels. Every dime she’s not putting up in some nest egg for their future is spent on the bills to keep a damn roof over their heads and buying the baby what he needs. She’d rather go without food and everything else instead of having him lose out on anything. Genesis is doing her absolute best and ifthat’s not good enough for any of you, you can all fuck right off. She doesn’t have money and not everyone does.
“As for what I eat when I’m there, I bring food from here. I’ve left things for her because on a daily basis she eats almost nothing. The last thing I saw in her refrigerator was a piece of damn cheese and one crusty piece of bread. Genesis won’t let it go to waste so I’m sure she’s eaten it by now. Yeah, she’d put back every piece of food she got herself to ensure Matie has his food. Besides, it’s nothing for any of you to be concerned about. Genesis is too proud to take anything from the club. Especially Devil and Raptor. You two have made her feel like shit and I know she wants nothing to do with either one of you,” Morgan tells us as Hope enters the common room and listens to the last part of what’s being said.
“I take it we’re talking about Genesis and her son?” Annabell asks, stepping up to Vault and wrapping her arms around him.
