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Charly giggles hysterically, and I realize she’s never done that with another man. Not her dad. Not my dad.
I glance over her head at Seb, who catches my eye and smiles.
And I know in that moment that what I feel for Seb has become so much more than want.
What I feel for him is a deep need. The kind that makes my heart wrench when I think about being apart from him. The kind that sends a flash of panic through my chest when I try to imagine life without him.
The kind that lasts forever.
Chapter 29
Sebastian
Hope tells me about the road sign for the highway home, and I check my phone for more info. All I get is the same thing she’s already seen.
I’ve driven that road in bad conditions, and my truck has done fine. But I don’t feel good taking Charly and Hope over it. On a good day, if there’s an accident it takes at least half an hour or more for emergency responders to get even part way through the canyon.
So after breakfast, I explain that to Hope and tell her to go to the library room across the hall and work. “I’ll keep an eye on the roads. As soon as there’s an announcement about plows working on them, we’ll leave.”
She reluctantly agrees and lets me take Charly upstairs to hang out in the room. But after an hour, Charly and I are both going stir-crazy, Hope is texting every ten minutes to check on us, and the roads aren’t getting any better.
I grab Charly’s coat and take her and Uncle Rad downstairs to find Hope. “It’s supposed to stop snowing this afternoon. Maybe we can leave then. You work. I’ll take care of Charly today.”
She opens her mouth like she might protest, but then smiles. “Okay. That’s a good idea. As long as you don’t mind keeping her entertained.”
We both glance at Charly who has the sucker I gave her stuck to her hand. She opens and closes her fingers, laughing at the way they stick to her palm.
I gulp, then lie. “I’ve got this. No problem!” Saying the words out loud actually increases my confidence, and my head fills with all kinds of ideas. “We’ll go to an indoor trampoline park I know, eat chicken nuggets, watchBluey—I still need to watch the Uncle Rad episodes. We’ll have a great time, right Charly?”
“Yes!” Charly launches herself out of her chair and throws her arms around me.
Now her fingers are stuck to my neck, but I don’t even care. Who knew three-year-old hugs could be such a dopamine hit? I’ve never done drugs, but if someone could bottle up what I’m feeling right now, the street-value would be incredible.
Against Charly’s protests, I leave Uncle Rad with Hope. A trampoline park is no place for dogs.
Then I take Charly to the Florence Fun Factory and spend way too much money to chase her through a soft play jungle gym thing with awesome slides, jump on giant trampolines, launch ourselves into a foam pit, and win prize tickets playing video and carnival games.
And it’s worth every penny. Who knew hanging out with a kid could be so fun?
I don’t know how I didn’t realize this before—maybe because I’ve never hung out with a kid. But it makes total sense. You can act like a kid when you’re with a kid, and no one thinks it’s weird.
Mind. Blown.
I have a whole new perspective on parenthood. All thanks to Charly.
By the time we get back to the inn with our kids’ meals, I can’t remember being this exhausted and happy. We take Uncle Rad from Hope, and head to the room where I turn on the TV, and we sit cross-legged on the bed eating chicken nuggets—don’t judge; they’re delicious—and watchBluey.
We’re into our second episode when Charly climbs onto my lap, snuggles into my chest, and sticks her thumb in her mouth. Two minutes later, she’s out like a light. But when I try to transfer her from my lap onto the bed, she wraps both arms around mine and holds tight.
So I scoot myself back against the pillows and lie back with her head in the crook of my elbow and her body curled against my chest. Then I close my eyes and fall asleep to the sound of her contented breathing.
I wake with a start when I feel fingertips on my face. I open my eyes to see Hope leaning over me, brushing hair from my forehead.
“Sorry,” she whispers with a smile. “Wanted to make sure you were still alive.”
I take a deep breath to cool the heat left behind from her touch, then glance at Charly who’s still sleeping.
“Feeling more alive now.” And not just because of the nap, but I leave that part out. I think Hope may be able to see it in my eyes anyway. “How’s it going?”
