Page 12 of Provoked


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I nod, unconvinced. He’s so still. It’s not like Justin flails about normally, but he’s always sort of contained energy. So even when he’s not moving, he’s… vibrating, sort of. That energy has disappeared. And I think that’s what scares me the most.

“Can I touch him? I mean, without hurting anything?”

The nurse gives me a genuine smile. “You betcha. I’d stick to that side, where you are, and don’t tug on any of the tubes. He’s heavily sedated, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know you’re here.”

She wheels the little cart with the computer back out to the hallway. I pull my chair up closer to the bed so I can touch his right arm. I’m reassured by the warmth of it. An hour later, when absolutely everything is exactly as it was, I realize I’m going to have to find out where the cafeteria is and when it closes. And I’ll have to do something about clothes, eventually. I sigh and stand up. Might as well take care of food now.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes or so, Justin.” I dare to drop a soft kiss on his cheek. For the first time, he doesn’t flinch when I touch him. I roll my eyes at the irony and drag myself out of the room with a sad smile.

I find the cafeteria easy enough. It’s not big, but the food is surprisingly good based on the smells and the prices are beyond reasonable. I settle on a mushroom hamburger and let myself indulge in the thick cut fries. This is an emergency, so the calories don’t count. Plus, I need as much comfort as I can find. I add a few snacks to my tray for later in case I get hungry during the night and sit down at a little table in the corner to eat. Apparently I was more hungry than I realized because it all disappears so fast. That’s when I remember all the groceries in the back of Justin’s car. They must be ruined. There’s nothing I can do about it now and I wouldn’t have made that my priority,anyway. But it seems such a waste. And my bank account isn’t so fat that I can afford to do that again in the near future.

The hospital gift shop is conveniently adjacent to the cafeteria. It’s barely more than a closet, but they manage to fit an astonishing amount of do-dads in that space. There’s all the happy things like balloons and teddy bears for the new babies and then the stuff for people waiting like me. A small display of paperbacks catches my attention and my eyes zero in on the book I’m reading, that of course isn’t with me. Do I dare?

I decide it’s worth the handful of dollars to have a second copy when I need it most. I take it and a small comb up to the register. “I don’t suppose you have anything that would suffice as a change of clothes hidden in here somewhere?” I ask the woman behind the tiny counter who’s busy adding price tags to little white teddy bears.

“We keep a small supply of scrubs in the back. Yes.” She eyes me up and down. “You look like a small but would you like the extra space of a medium?”

“Yes, please. How much are they?”

“Bulk price of $19.99 for the set. They’re cheap and won’t last for more than a month, but they don’t need to, do they?” she adds kindly before disappearing behind a fabric curtain. She returns with a maroon fabric package swathed in plastic wrap. I hand over my credit card.

I decide I’ll shower and change in the morning so I can feel fresh and alert when the doctor stops by. It’s going to be a long night, I suspect.

“I’m back,” I announce to Justin. I set my purse and the newly acquired clothing on the shelf by the window and return to the chair by his bed with my book.

The fourteenth Duke of Greenwood had a very bad head cold. Kitty bit her lip to avoid pointing out that it served him right, and he had no one but himself to blame. He was already pouting like a six-year-old child. She patiently held the bowl of thin soup she’d been able to conjure from the dried herbs and a few stored vegetables she’d found in the kitchen. It seemed the usual caretakers of the manor were off on a holiday to visit their daughter in Cornwall. She could hardly blame them. It’s not like the Duke had sent advance notice of their arrival.

Rafe, on the other hand, had no such qualms. When he wasn’t sneezing, he was cursing them for abandonment of post or lecturing her on the impropriety of visiting him in his bedchamber. She’d merely raised an elegant eyebrow in the direction of the bowl of soup.

“Would you like me to leave then? And take the bowl of slop with me?” she’d asked rather acerbically.

He’d frowned, looking petulant, and swiped his reddening nose angrily with yet another handkerchief. “This is all your fault, Kitty.”

“My fault! I was perfectly happy in London.”

He’d growled at her then, so she shut him up by shoving the spoon in his mouth.

He sounds just like Justin, I think to myself. Raising my eyes from the book that’s now only keeping half my attention, I study the man in question. His chest is rising and falling, so that’s good. But I’d be so grateful if he were only in here for a bad cold like the duke. Not that Justin would ever let anyone corral him into a hospital for something he deemed minor. I don’t think they put you in ICU for that either. I wince as I straighten in the uncomfortable chair. It’s going to be a long and painful night. But then I study the bruises starting to appear on Justin’s stern face. Truly, I’ve got nothing to complain about.

A nurse popped in half an hour ago and offered to bring in a cot, but I don’t want to be out of reach of Justin. I think he knows someone is here as long as I’m touching him. I pat his hand gently. “I’m going to go brush my teeth. I’ll be right back.”

I set the book aside for tomorrow and stretch my arms overmy head. Thankfully, I still have my travel toothbrush in my purse. Sometimes life rewards me for being disorganized, and that’s my general excuse for not making more of an effort in that direction.

Mildly refreshed, I slip my shoes off and grab the extra blanket from the cupboard. It’s thin and not very big, but it’s better than nothing. And it’s not like I can stretch out, so the length doesn’t really matter. I scoot my chair up so it’s a bit closer to Justin’s head, and then I fold my arms on the bed and rest my face on them. It’s not too different from trying to sleep on an airplane, I guess.

I doze more than sleep, forcing myself to sit up and stretch every time the nurse comes in, so I won’t freeze in this position. Then finally around two a.m. I fall asleep.

When I wake, I feel pinned in place, which has me in a brief panic until I realize it’s Justin. His hand is curled around the back of my neck, gripping gently. I want to cry with relief. But when I reach up to take his hand in mine so I can slide out from under, there’s no response. Whatever spark came in the middle of the night is gone again. I sigh and gently kiss his cheek. He’s no sleeping beauty, but maybe it will help.

Then I slip into the small bathroom and take a shower before changing into the scrubs I purchased yesterday. They feel like pajamas because I need to wash out my bra and undies. If I alternate between the two outfits, I should be able to last until Fred can get here. I quickly do my laundry in the tiny sink, using the liquid hand soap as detergent. It’s not ideal, but at least it’s antibacterial.

I hesitate next to Justin’s bed before picking up my purse. I need to eat and if I wait, I might miss the doctors who know what’s going on. I slip out and find the cafeteria again. This time, I simply grab a toasted bagel and a can of cola and take it back to his room. When I sit down and reach for his hand, his fingers grip mine.

“Justin?” I ask anxiously. His face doesn’t move, but his fingers grip tighter. I want to laugh and cry and dance all at once. “Justin, you’re in the hospital. You were in a car accident.” His fingers tighten once and let go.

Just then, the nurse comes in, followed by two doctors. “How is he, Mrs. Wilde? Any changes in the night?” One of them asks me. As soon as he refers to me, Justin’s fingers clamp down on mine, but this time he doesn’t let go. I can feel the yelling through his touch. I give the doctors a shaky smile. “Yes! He’s clasping my hand. He knows he’s here.”

They look dubious, but somehow I manage to get Justin to demonstrate this limited ability to communicate. Then they get down to the serious medical talk. I don’t understand half of it, but the gist is that he needs to be in the hospital for at least a week, but all signs are good for a full recoveryeventuallynow that he’s regained some consciousness. I want to ask what exactly eventually means, but I’m afraid to do it where Justin can hear. If they say years, it might give him a serious setback. If you haven’t figured it out by now, Justin is not a patient man.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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