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“I think she’s pretty,” I blurt out. “Your ex.”
“My ex?”
“Yeah, the one you left with when she came to our office.”
When I tilt my head on his shoulder to take a good look at him, his eyes narrow. “She’s not my ex.”
“Oh, then—”
“Stop with the million questions.”
“I answer your questions.”
I can’t explain the lack of levelheadedness behind my decisions with Damon—maybe because I’ve lost all sight of rationality—all I seem to do is seek advice from my heart.
And my stupid, desperate pussy.
“Oh, really—you would answer my questions? Anything?” Curiosity pools in the deepest part of his moody eyes.
I nod to appease him, sitting up to straddle him.
The affection I feel toward him is out of this world. There are no words, no poem written, that could explain the direction my feelings are taking for him. I wonder if he knows. If he understands this crippling desire, knowing that no matter if I went back to Harvey, I’d never be able to forget him, because he owns the biggest part of my soul.
I feel connected to him in ways I’ve never felt with anyone I’ve met in my entire life.
“If he weren’t disabled, would you still be with him?”
My hands drop to his shoulders, while my mind slowly processes his question. Even through the mist of my tipsiness, I can tell he sees how taken aback I am by it.
“Yes or no, Gemma.”
I swallow, my mind having already answered for me.
“It’s not that simple. There are so many variables to that question. We—”
“With the same results as right now, except he’s able bodied. Would you be with him?”
“Are you in my life?” I counter.
He sighs, and I notice the flutter of his lashes. “Yes.”
“Then no. I don’t think I’d still be with him.” And my heart drops as if I’ve fallen from a steep cliff. I take advantage of him glancing away to drink in every aspect of his facial features. “Ifyour ex came back to you and wanted you, would you take her back?”
The stillness in his body hits me like a cold front.
“She won’t.”
“But if she did? If she did, Damon? Would you—”
“Stop, just fucking stop.” He doesn’t make any attempt to move away from me. In fact, he holds me tighter.
“Would you want to fuck her?” I wait for his answer, gauging the smallest reaction out of him.
“You don’t know what you’re asking.” Pain blends in the darkest parts of his eyes.
Waiting, anticipating, seeing if he’ll catch one percent of me during my fall for him. Or if he’ll run away like he always does.
He brings my body closer to his, his lips grazing mine as he whispers against them. “You love to push buttons, don’t you?”
