Page 118 of Master of Death


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But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t constantly worry that he’s going to leave me again as soon as the next storm hits. If anything, today’s the day to finally do what’s best for me.

Because if I don’t, I might resent him for continuously leaving.

Damon retrieves my purse before I make my way upstairs.

“Leave it down here,” I tell him, my mind resolved.

You can do this. Youneedto do this, Gemma.

“Why?”

“Because I’m not staying here.”

I don’t bother facing him, don’t bother seeing the devil hiding in plain sight as he lets the anger that’s been simmering consume him.

“Like hell.” He chuckles harshly, his voice dripping of sharp icicles. “Gemma.” We’re already heading upstairs for the bedroom when he grabs my arm. “We need to talk.”

“Where were you when I needed to talk this morning? You left.”

“I know I shouldn’t have, which is why I came back. I know I made a mistake.”

“But you couldn’t help yourself. Even when we talked it out, went through the rationalization that you should stay and brood upstairs, youstillcouldn’t stay. It was stronger than you. Your past has a stronger hold on you than you think.”

“Baby, don’t you dare talk as if we’re done.”

“Damon.”

“No, Gemma.” He hugs me from behind, and we end up on the bed with me on his lap. He pushes his hair back. “Look, I know I messed up. This wasn’t the kind of news I should’ve run away from.”

My eyes are fixated on his dark ones, unable to take for granted the beauty of his face.

“When we met, I told you I didn’t date. I didn’t do romance. I just wanted to fuck you. And I’m telling you I believed that foolish lie until I spent more time with you. Next, I wanted you invading my house, my space, every second of my days. I love you so much, Gemma, and if you give me a second, I swear I’ll work through my shit.”

“Damon.”

“No.No. I can hear the resolve in your voice.”

I grab his neck, forcing him to face me. “Iloveyou.” My voice breaks.

His eyes narrow and darken, matching the state of mind I’ve had all day.

“But I can’t be with you if I think every time I speak my mind or we fight, you might leave. I don’t care if it’s for an hour or a day or a week. The result is the same. You refuse to talk to me.”

“I’ll talk to you. What do you want to know?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know how, but you need to let her go. You need to heal and move on. I can’t compete with a ghost. I can’t—”

“She’s nothing. She’s nothing compared to you. I already told you that.”

“Find a way to say goodbye.”

“I already did.”

“You didn’tgrieve, Damon. You run to her sanctuaryevery timewe hit a bump. I won’t live through that. I won’t subject our baby to that.”

He nods. “Okay. I’ll work on it.”

“And I need to process your betrayal. If I don’t do this now, I might regret it. I ran into your arms after Harvey, and I need the space. Especially after everything you told me.”

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