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“Until next month when your lease runs out, come on Ame, there’s no point in signing another and wasting all of that money. I want you with us. Maggie wants you with us. Lorie wants you with us. I don’t know what we would have done, again, if you weren’t there. I had to go on that trip and Lorie’s daughter was in ICU after the car accident, she needed to be there with her.”
“I know that Rafe, and I’m glad I was there to help but moving in together, permanently…”
“Scares you,” he says with a slight huff. “I know. Everything about a commitment scares you and it’s getting old Amelia. How many times, in how many ways do I have to say I love you before you believe me?”
“Rafe please, you’re worrying Maggie,” I say trying to calm him down as we reach the car.
“Sorry,” he tells us both dropping a kiss on Maggie’s head. “This isn’t over though baby.”
“Let’s just go home alright?” I suggest, not wanting Maggie upset for the world. Her upset hurts my heart which is far too invested in both of them.
“See…you just said home Amelia. That’s how you think of it.”
“Fine I do,” I admit with a sigh. “I just have this feeling that this isn’t going to last.”
“What isn’t? My feelings for you? Yours for me? Maggie’s?” he asks, his brow furled, and it just makes him sexier.
“All of the above?” Minus mine, because I know I’m completely and utterly in love with him.
“Why baby? Have I done anything to make you worry about us and them?”
“No it’s just something I have to work out for myself.”
“Can we admit that we’re together? To the people we work with at least although I’m pretty sure they already know,” he teases giving me that look that spells trouble because I can’t resist it.
“I don’t want people thinking I’m sleeping with the boss.”
“But you are Ame, and everyone knows I’m gaga over you.”
“I just…”
“Don’t want to admit that you love me too,” he states, his tone a bit harder and I hate hearing him anything but happy. It’s just so hard to ignore this little voice inside me that says to watch out. “I’m trying to not feel as though you’re just playing with me, but when you do this hot and cold routine it’s hard, Amelia.”
“Look at it from my perspective Rafe,” I try because I don’t want to lose him. It’s bad enough that I’ve been feeling more and more each time that we have one of these discussions that I’m going to one way or another, but to hear it directly from him, hurts. “I barely had my foot in the door before we were together. If we come out now people are going to think the only reasonthat I have the position is because I’m sleeping with you. Plus if my parents knew I was sleeping with you…”
“You’re afraid of what your parents will think?That’swhy you refuse to acknowledge us? You can’t begin to think the others at the office will care. They know how brilliant you are, they’ve seen your work, so don’t try to use them as an excuse, Ame.”
“Okay…yes I’m worried that my parents will flip out finding out that we’re sleeping together does that make you feel better? Rafe they’re my parents,” I add when his mouth tightens into a tight line at my response, but he just doesn’t get it. The way I grew up was completely opposite as him and I just can’t think of sex and discussing it with my parents as some simple conversation. “How would you feel if it was Maggie who was telling you that she’d moved in with a guy she was sleeping with, especially one they’ve never met, don’t know exists?”
I know that got to him because he grew quiet, pensive and let it drop, until after we’d gotten home. Maggie crashed the moment her head hit the pillows and I loved tucking her in with Rafe next to me. The idea of losing her along with Rafe was enough to send me hiding under the covers but I resisted knowing that Rafe wasn’t about to let go of the argument completely.
He walked me down to the living room and we curled up on the couch turning the TV on to watch the news. This is one of the things I loved most about being with Rafe. This quiet contentment of just being with him but it wasn’t my favorite. That’s when we’re in bed and he’s just holding me against his bare chest. The connection there is what I can’t let myself dwell on for too long because if I do then it’s bound to go away.
“I’m sorry,” Rafe says as he flips the TV off and lifts my chin to look at him.
“Sorry for what?”
“Being pushy, again. I love you, baby. There is no doubt about that, but I get what you’re saying. If Maggie was moving in with some guy I didn’t know, I’d probably go find him and pound his face in. I tend to forget you’re someone’s daughter as well as a gorgeous woman.”
“Flatterer,” I tease because I know I’m not gorgeous but him calling me that makes me smile all the time.
“You are Ame. I noticed it the first time I saw you and now I can’t go to sleep without at least hearing your voice.”
“You say the sweetest things sometimes, but it’s usually because you’re angling for something,” I state seeing the look in his eyes deepen.
“I am but it’s also the truth baby.”
“So what do you want?”
