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I have nothing—no words, no sounds, no breath to argue or deny that everything he just said wasn’t right.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” he states, holding my gaze intently. “Tell me thateverythingI just said isn’t true and I’ll let you go to your room. We’ll forget everything that happened today. I’ll pretend you’re engaged, and you can pretend I didn’t kiss you and tell you how unbelievably beautiful you are.”
“Rafe, this is crazy, we don’t know each other. I don’t know if you’re seeing anyone else and you don’t know what I want out of life. Where I want to be in five, ten years, and I don’t know if you’re interested in anything other than sex.”
“Isn’t that the point of dating, to get to know the other person, figure out if there’s hope for the future,” he argues with me.
“I don’t date, and especially not someone who’s already seeing someone,” I tell him.
“You’re talking about the phone call earlier, aren’t you? It was my ex-wife, and we don’t have the best relationship. I’m not seeing anyone, don’t have anyone special in my life—except for my daughter,” he says and every thought I had about him suddenly shifts.
“Your daughter?” I say in shock and amazement. “You have a daughter?”
“I do, she’s eight and the joy of my life, being away from her for two weeks is rough but everything I do is for her.” The look on his face is the same one I saw earlier this evening when he looked at his phone and I finally understood where I’d seen that look before, it was the same way my father looked at me.
“Rafe I…I don’t know what to say. You’re right I’ve been running from love ever since I was a teenager. If someone showed interest in me, I would panic and sabotage it. I don’tknow why,” I hedged, not about to get into that conversation with anyone, ever. “Then I started working at the club and I saw so many men who were supposedly good guys, smart businessmen that were loyal and honest, but put a half-naked woman in front of them, supply ‘em with a couple beers and they turned into sex crazed pre-pubescents again.”
“Where does that leave us?” he whispers to me.
“Here…at the beginning of something I’m not sure I’m ready for,” I admit.
“I’m willing to take a chance if you are, but I think we should take it slow. Which means that you should go put something else on that doesn’t make my blood race.”
“Is my dress too revealing for you?” I tease, completely unsure of where it came from, but I enjoy it entirely.
“It’s too revealing for a blind man,” he says. The gaze he gives me on top of it is hot enough it could burn down an entire village. “Which is exactly why you should change; I don’t want to rush you…or me in this. I’m not afraid to admit that this scares me as much as it does you. I’ve been married and divorced, and I have my daughter to think about now. I’ve taken care to keep my personal relationships out of the office and away from her, but I can’t keep you separate from work. I don’t want to, baby.”
I honestly don’t know what to say, that sweet endearment makes my heart race wildly, so I simply kiss his cheek and head for my room. I stay there until the morning trying to figure out what to do with our situation but even in the morning light, I’m still unaware of what action to take. Part of me wants to say yes, to let us discover what’s between us, but the rest of me wants to keep my heart exactly as it is, to not risk its safety.
I manage to talk myself into a state of calmness, it’s necessary in order to face Rafe over breakfast. The past few days have been hard enough but now knowing what it was like to kiss him, andthe stupid thing, such as feelings, that had suddenly stolen over me was messing with my brain and causing me to panic.
Okay girl, get over it you’re going to have to leave this room sooner or later and it’d be better if you did it on your own terms and not have him drag you out of here or worse, join you on that bed behind you. That’s it, I mused as my startled body moved towards the door.If you stay here any longer, you’ll end up dragging him onto the bed and that’ll be bad.
I moved out of the ‘safety’ of my room and headed to the kitchenette praying Rafe got up early and ordered breakfast already. Somehow, this prayer was received and answered. When I appeared in the doorway, Rafe was already sitting down, eating eggs and bacon, with a copy of the New York Times scattered across the table.
In unexpected clumsiness I managed to bang my elbow on the doorjamb, my muttered curse draws his attention upwards, and I pause just inside the door trying to decipher what his eyes are saying.
“Amelia,” he says with a genuine smile, “I was beginning to think you’d escaped out the window.”
“Considering we’re on the twelfth floor I don’t see that happening,” comes out of my mouth and the awkwardness of the situation is broken.
“Just checking, after all, you’re certainly a source of confusion and mystery,” he answers, and I try not to read too much into it. After all, he seemed to know quite a bit about me last night.
“Anything from Charles yet?” I ask hoping to get things back on work footings. It won’t do us much good if we’re both still thinking about last night.
“Not yet but as you said they both see the intelligence behind our proposal,” he said turning back to the newspaper. “Sit down and eat…you barely touched your food last night.”
“I don’t need another father,” I state then bite the inside of my cheek, why did I just say that? Am I really looking for a fight?
“That’s good,” Rafe replies his eyes seeking mine, “because there’s no way I’m going to apply for that position, and please stop thinking, we both agreed to take things slowly last night, right?”
I nod my head and open my breakfast plate scrambled eggs, two slices of bacon, and toast beckon me and I dig in, not resisting when he added some fruit to my plate from the large bowl he ordered. I can’t find the nerve to look him in the eyes again. The one look had sent shivers up and down my spine and if the Farris’ didn’t accept the proposal I’d need to have my wits about me to come up with something that they would and more looks from Rafe would keep me distracted.
“Speaking of last night,” Rafe hedged forcing my hand and sending another tingle through me when I connect with his gaze. “I’m assuming that you haven’t changed your mind but if I’m wrong all you have to do is give the word and I’ll find a way to work with you without…”
“Without what?” I ask when he remains silent for almost a minute.
“Without dragging you into the nearest closet and kissing you breathless,” he finishes, and my heart does that fluttery thing again.
