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“Baby,” I say with a deep sigh. “I meant what I said before. I don’t care if you don’tlikesomething, but you’ve gottawantit.”
Cas slides his hand over to my neck, almost holding my jaw, but mostly stroking my throat affectionately with his fingertips. “I want it,” he whispers. He sounds so relaxed and pleased. “I want you, too. But I’m used to wanting what I can’t have.”
“You don’t have to worry about that much being out of your grasp.” I sigh and hold him tighter. “You’ve got a grip on me.”
“Yeah?” His lips brush my neck when he smiles before kissing me there. “You’re never going to be out of reach?”
“Not if I can help it.”
Needless to say, I have anamazingday with Cas at Bailey’s house—er, Cas’s house. Still working on mentally fusing those two. Anyway, a great time is had by all, but since a full workweek is ahead of me and I’m still opening quite a bit while Lucy’s on leave, I need to be somewhat responsible. I head home Monday night and get to the farm bright and early Tuesday morning. Since my evening will be free, Cas and I will meet up for dinner after I punch out.
Cas is much, much needier than he’d like me to believe and I fucking love it. Still, whenever I’m with him, I get this sense that he doesn’t fully trust me. Almost as if he’s waiting for me to pull the rug out from under him. He’s done a great job ofconvincingme he trusts me, and he keeps doing and saying all the right things, but I still get the sense he’s holding back. That’s okay. I’ve pushed him quite a bit over the last twenty-four hours I spent with him. I want the man bending, not breaking. Well, not beyond repair, at least.
A few hours after opening, who should appear but Jess. Fuck. I haven’t spoken to him since Sunday evening and, as far as he knows, I’m still lovesick from my date being canceled. He comes right up to my register and smiles.
“Aren’t you closing?” I ask.
“Yeah, well, today is the only day Cheryl isn’t opening with you and she knows you won’t do animals.”
I roll my eyes.
“So, I agreed to do a split shift. All the goats are fed and happy now.” Jess pauses and looks around, but the store is empty. Has been since the breakfast rush ended and will be until a few people trickle in around lunch. “How… are you?”
“Fine.”
Jess smiles and circles around the counter to step closer and whisper, “We’re both closing again Friday.”
“Yeah, Jess, I—”
“Except I don’t know if I can wait until Friday.” Jess leans forward, but I turn and put my hands on his shoulders.
“Jess, we should probably… not.”
He scrunches his face. “Why?”
“I told you why.”
“Yeah, and he ditched you,” Jess scoffs. “So much forwanting more.”
“It’s—I’ll explain more to you Friday.”
“Or… we can hang out tonight.”
“I’m kinda busy tonight.”
“Fucking Bailey.”
Well, yes, I am. Or rather, I will be. But I’m not sure exactly how to say that right now. If we weren’t at work, maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to choose my words so carefully. Just when I think I’m saved by the bell, I look over and see exactly why Jess said what he did.
Cas is coming into the store. And those hickeys I left all over him have not faded in the slightest. Not that anyone can see each and every one while he’s wearingmyhoodie, but I notice enough from here. And if the look Jess gives me is any indication, he can, too.
Chapter twenty-three
Cas
Do I need to come in right now, today? Of course not. But when I spot Jesse’s truck in the parking lot, I decide I must go shoppingpreciselyat this moment. I’m well aware I look like I’ve been worked over and I want to rub Jesse’s nose in it. Again, the old me wouldn’t care, but this is the new me. I’m trying to diverge from my usual path. I can officially say I have never been this invested in someone or for this long, and the fact that Will’s still breathing speaks to just how much I am.
Will looks especially pleased to see me when I waltz through the door. Jesse does not. Perfect.
