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LIAM
“Zoe coming swimming?”
“Soon, duck.” My voice was harsher than I intended, but honestly, how bloody long did it take to go next door and listen to some tall string bean say he was sorry for dumping you and then come back? Seventeen fucking minutes she’d been gone, and I was about to lose my mind watching the clock on the back of the house. “She’ll be back soon.”
Closure.
What an idiot I was. She’d been standing there staring up at me with those fucking eyes and telling me she liked it when I kissed her, and I’d sent her straight back toward an ex.
The fact that I’d stayed single so long wascompletelyunsurprising. I didn’t know how to act when the thing I wanted was right there in front of me.
Mira pushed the duck under the water, making a quiet quacking sound when it resurfaced.
I nudged her shoulder. “Come down a couple steps. Let’s practice your floating.”
Mira ignored me, because she was perfectly happy up on that top step, thank you very much.
Leaning in, I whispered in her ear: “Don’t you think the pool duck wants to come into the water more?”
“No.” She splashed it under the surface again. “He likes the step.”
“Does he?” I asked dryly.
Mira nodded, her eyes glued right on that Union Jack duck. “He’s scared of the water.”
I sank down until just my chin hovered over the water, my gaze steady on hers. “Ducks are good swimmers, though.”
She nodded.
“But he’s still scared?”
She nodded again, a bit more fervently this time.
Fucking hell, I was so twisted up by this little bit of a girl. And when I took another quick glance at the clock—eighteen minutes—I knew she wasn’t the only one tying my insides into knots.
I held out my hand. “Can I see him?”
Mira gave me a shy look, then carefully set the duck in my hand.
“It’s okay that he is,” I said. “Everyone’s afraid of something, little duck.”
Pretending to give an emotional pep talk to a tiny plastic toy was a new experience, and I was endlessly thankful that no one was there to witness it. If a single member of our team got wind of this, I’d never live it down.
“You afraid too?” she asked.
“All the time.” I held the duck up closer to my face, pretended to study its expression. “When I was little, I was afraid of the dark. Afraid to be home alone.”
My fears as an adult were a bit much to lay on her, so I decided to keep those quiet.
“But I still had to figure out a way to sleep in the dark,” I told her. “Still had to stay home alone when my mum was at work. And it wasn’t so scary after the first few times, once I knew I could do it. Maybe Mr. Duck needs to see he can do it, and then he won’t be so afraid anymore.”
Why were those words so easy to say when the advice was meant for someone else?
I couldn’t take my own bloody advice, that much was clear.
As I stared at Mira, I couldn’t deny that my fear was only part of what held me back. I’d just never been able to put words to the rest of it until I was faced with these two, faced with the absolute certainty of how they’d wrecked my world.
And if I ever broke this little girl’s heart like mine had been broken, I’d never be able to live with myself. As for Zoe ... I had a feeling that her heart was already just as fucked as mine.
