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I clutched at the arm around my waist, digging in my nails. “Yes. I want all of you, Orin.”
His grip suddenly tightened, and he pulled away slightly. “You don’t want all of me. My darkness will destroy you.”
Frowning, I turned around and looked at him. “Why do you say things like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like I don’t want you. I do want you, Orin. I want you so fucking bad that sometimes it hurts seeing you look at me like you want to touch me, but you always stop yourself.”
“It would be better if I left you alone.” His tone was serious, but the lust in his eyes was unmistakable. Running a hand along my jaw, he tightened his fingers. “It would be better if I didn’t use you as the fuck doll I want to use you as … but I can’t leave you alone. Fuck knows I’ve tried.”
My mouth opened, but no words came out. I could hardly breathe as the meaning of his declaration hit me.
“You said you know how I fuck? How I cause pain to my partners?”
“Yes.”
“And you still want that? You want to experience that with me?”
“Yes. I want all of you, whether it’s good or bad, gentle or rough. I want to know what you like.”
His hand wrapped around my hip in a bruising grip. “You shouldn’t say that to me.”
“Why not?”
“My self-control is holding on by a fucking tether, and one word from you will break it.”
My breath was shaky as it left my lungs. Biting my bottom lip, I said, “Take me as you want to. Use me as a fuck doll. If you want to hurt me, hurt me. I’ll take you whatever way I can have you, Orin, but please let us have a chance.”
I didn’t know where the words had come from, only that they were true. I wanted all of him. Every dark corner of his heart. Every insidious thought he had. I wanted him to use me like he needed to. It was fucked up, but then again, so was I.
His pupils dilated so wide that I could hardly see where his irises began. “Do you remember our safe word?”
“Yes.”
“Say it.”
“Bullet.”
“If at any time you want to stop, saybulletto me, and I’ll stop.”
We were going to do this. Holy shit, my body was on fire with anticipation. “Okay.”
“Afterwards, I’m going to walk away from you, Fallon. After I fuck you like I’ve wanted to since the first moment I saw you, I’m going to walk away.”
The feeling of anticipation dissipated like smoke, and all I was left with was a feeling of dread. “W-what?”
“This will change everything between us. I couldn’t handle the thought of seeing you again after I’ve broken you. I may be a hard bastard, but I can’t do that. Do you understand?”
“Yes, but—”
“Enough talking then,” he said, cutting me off. His tone had deepened into that dominating one he’d used before, and God help me, my body responded to it. “Take off all your clothes.”
I slid from the bed, stripping down to nothing, then stood there for his pleasure. He drank me in, and I noticed his cock getting longer and harder beneath his sweats.
“Touch yourself. Make yourself come while I watch.”
Swallowing hard, I traced my hand down between my breasts, along my stomach, and between the juncture of my thighs. I was already wet, and my fingers slid through the slickness that had pooled there.
