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“No.”
“Then what’s wrong?” he bit out gruffly.
I took in two deep breaths. “I’ve not been able to sleep since … since …” Fresh tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, and I gasped when Orin thumbed them away. The gesture was so tender—so out of character—that the words fell unbidden from my mouth. “I fell asleep when you left. Then I had a dream.” I fixed my gaze on his face. “I killed a man, Orin. I murdered him. In my house. And my mind shoves the event down my throat every time I shut my eyes.”
“That was self-defense.”
I gaped. “It doesn’t change anything. I killedhim. I can’t get that image out of my head.”
He rose to his full height, his lips pressing into a firm, stubborn line. “This is your life now, Fallon.” His tone was hard. So different from the softness of before. “You should get used to it.”
Anger licked through my blood at his dismissive tone. At the way he glared at me. At the way he spoke to me like I was a silly little girl who had stumbled into the lion’s den with a steak wrapped around my neck.
My hands clenched into fists. “You might be able to live like this, Orin, but I can’t. Now, if you can’t stand the thought of watching me cry, shut the door and leave me alone.”
He glared at me. I glared back, knowing that I couldn’t back down first, otherwise he would see it for the weakness it was.
I huffed out a breath. “Just … leave me alone, okay? You don’t have to try and comfort me when it’s clear you’re emotionally stunted.”
Anger sparked in his eyes, and the next thing I knew, I was being hoisted into the air and cradled against Orin’s broad chest. Carried in his strong arms. I struggled against him, but he only tightened his grip.
“Stop.” His tone was firm and unyielding, and I immediately stopped trying to wriggle free of his grasp. He laid down on the bed, arranging me on top of his body so I was draped across him—engulfed by his warmth. His cedar scent invaded my nose.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
In a gruff voice, he said, “Comforting you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yes. But—”
“Shush,” he barked, and I could’ve sworn I felt the ghost of his fingers brushing against my lower back.
I bit my lip. Despite his intense dislike of being touched, he was holding me to him. Tightly. His heart pounded steadily beneath my ear—a metronomicthump, thump, thumpthat I found myself setting my breaths to.
I was just letting myself melt into his touch when my breath caught in my throat. I’d felt his dick twitch where it was pressed to my stomach.
Orin’s fingers drifted down to my hip. “I’m sorry,” he said softly against my hair.
Ignoring the elephant in the room, I replied, “For being a stubborn bastard and manhandling me?”
“No. For the … against your stomach. Purely biological. Out of my control.”
Oh. My cheeks flushed. I was mortified. I thought he was genuinely attracted to me, but he was right. It was only a biological response to stimuli. I cleared my throat and began to pull away from him, but his fingers tightened on my hip—holding me in place.
“You can let me go,” I whispered. “I’m okay. I know you don’t like touching people.”
“Unsolicited touch is what I don’t like.” His voice vibrated against my ear.
“Oh.”He touched me first. Because he wanted to touch me. And he still wants to touch me because he hasn’t released me, yet.
Reaching out, he clicked the lamp off beside the bed, and the room descended into darkness.
“Relax, Fallon. I can feel how tense you are.”
I couldn’t relax though. I felt like I’d stepped on a rattlesnake, and as soon as I let my foot off, he would strike. I eased my fingers out of his shirt until I was inactively lying in his embrace. His huge chest expanded with an inhale before he let out the breath and dragged me a little closer.
“What are you—”
“Shh.” There was pressure on the side of my head. A kiss? “Rest. I’ll be here to keep you safe.”
