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“Who?” he asked witha hard voice.
I laughed but it wasa cruel sound. “As if it matters. What’s done is done, Damon. Youcan’t change the past.”
“A name, Jill,” hedemanded, his voice deadly calm.
“Why?” I asked,deflated. I sat back down on the bed, completely spent.
He smiled at me butit was a menacing look. “So I can kill him,” he gritted out and Iflinched at his answer. He sounded so serious.
I sighed as I lookedout the window at the rising sun. My anger was gone and I was leftfeeling numb. I didn’t want to do this anymore. I wanted to go homeso I could forget that I ever tried being someone else in the firstplace.
Damon knelt beforeme and cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him. New tears burnedmy eyes as I met his gaze. His eyes held no pity but empathyinstead. He kissed me softly before bringing me to him and huggingme.
“I would never callyou tainted, Jill. Just because that fucker did something so fouldoesn’t mean you’re the dirty one. He is, baby.” He pulled away sohe could look at me once again. “What he did to you would nevermake me not want you.” He paused. “There’s nothing in the worldthat would make me not want you,” he whispered before he took mymouth again.
This time he laid meback and ascended on top of me. He made a place for himself betweenmy legs and I sighed against him as I wrapped my arms aroundhim.
“Let me love you,”he begged against my lips as his hardness prodded my entrance. Imoaned and nodded my head as tears fell down my face.
I let Damon makelove to me for the first time that morning. He loved me softly andwhispered how brave I was and how proud he was of me to share mypast with him. After we both found our bliss, he cradled me to hisbody as he spoke sweet nothings in Spanish.
I let him comfort mefor himself more than for me. He needed the assurance that I waswith him more now than ever. I laid there and accepted what he gaveme but I could feel all the walls he ripped down slowly repairingthemselves.
I knew I would needto get out as soon as I could. I was a fool for ever thinking Icould just enjoy myself and be someone else for even a weekend. Iwas born Jill Brookes and I would always be Jill Brookes, no matterhow much it hurt to be just that.
Damon might think hehad strong feelings for me but it would only be proven later downthe line that he didn’t truly want me. I wasn’t what he needed atall and that fact would eventually come to light.
But, I laid therewhile he spoke those sweet nothings to me. I let myself close myeyes and enjoy my last moments with Damon Santos. I could letmyself pretend for just a little while longer that this was rightand I was where I was supposed to be.
I think it was aperverted trick of my mind when I thought I heard him say the wordsmost women would kill to hear whispered to them. Thinking that hetruly said, “Eres mi amor,” was a cruel way my psyche choseto punish me at that moment.
ChapterSeventeen
I stared down at myphone from the back seat as the car bounced slightly from a potholein the road. I checked my email as I tried not to think about theman I left in bed as I fled his house like my ass was on fire.
I’d laid there inhis arms while the early dawn light trickled in the large windows.I’d let myself feel his comfort for long moments until I felt hisbreathing become even as sleep took him once more. I hadn’t shedany more tears as I crawled out of his embrace and gathered mythings in silence. I padded to the living room where I had gottendressed in Friday’s clothing, grabbed my gym bag, and patted Booneon the head before I quietly slipped out the front door.
I ignored theheart-wrenching feeling of wrongness as I jogged down the verywalking path Damon had taken me on that first night. I neglectedthe feeling of guilt that pressed down on me as I ordered an Uberto pick me up from the same park I’d felt so peaceful at only twonights ago. I hadn’t spared another last glance toward the homewhere I first got to be someone else as I climbed in the back ofthat car and gave the driver my address.
I tried not togiggle hysterically at the ridiculousness of it all. The great JillBrookes, reduced to sneaking out of a man’s house like some dirtylittle secret. The irony of the whole situation was not lost onme.
I tried to calm myracing thoughts as I scrolled through the mass amounts of unreademails. I read and reread the same damn email five times before Ifinally gave up and threw my phone into the seat next to me with afrustrated huff. No matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t getmy mind off Damon.
Was he awake yet?How long would it take him to realize that I’d left him? I wonderedif he would be furious enough to say the hell with me. Honestly, itwould be best. So why did the thought make my chest hurt?
I wasn’t sooblivious to the fact that Damon had incited feelings in me I hadnever felt before. He had awoken something deep inside of me. Itwas almost sad how fast it had happened. It felt as though he’dburrowed his way under my skin and it would take a miracle toremove him.
I huffed loudly andraked my hand down my face in irritation. Trying to ignore the lookof confusion from my driver as I was brought closer and closer tomy house. I was being entirely ridiculous. I’d only known Damon fora couple of months. It shouldn’t be this hard to forget about himand move on with life as if I’d never met him.
My driver turned onmy street as soon as I heard a ding from my phone. My heart lurchedin my chest at the sound. I grabbed the device quickly and thenscolded myself internally as I placed it on my lap. Stilling myrapidly beating heart, I tried to calm myself.
I covered my mouthto smother the erratic giggle that escaped. I caught the eye of mydriver in the rearview mirror and almost giggled again at the lookshe shot me. She must bet that I was an absolute loon.
She pulled up to thecurb outside my house and I thanked her quickly before exiting thevehicle. I pulled my keys from my bag and unlocked the front door.Closing it behind me, I slid to the ground and sat with my back toit. Finally, I gathered the courage to look at my phone andreleased a breath I hadn’t known I was holding.
My heart finallycalmed when I saw a text waiting from Kate.
I didn’t understandthe flare of disappointment that coursed through my body. I hadwanted this. I’d left this morning to cut all ties before thingsgot any more serious. And now I felt disappointed because the man Iwalked out on hadn’t texted me? I was a different kind ofcrazy.
