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Callen always knew the difference.
“I don’t think I can do this tonight, Callen. Me being here doesn’t mean we’re back together. It means I have nowhere else to go.”
Everything hurts.
My mind.
My heart.
My body.
My fucking soul.
“That’s not good enough, Caitie.” He steps into my space, careful not to touch me. Respectful. Always respectful. And I hate him. “Is it true?”
“What?” I snap but stand my ground. “Is what true?”
Why do his eyes have to be so expressive?
Why can I see his pain as if he sliced himself open and showed it to me from the inside?
“Are you pregnant?”
I move to one of two deep navy and white pinstriped chairs and ottomans sitting next to floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the lake and the falls and sit, staring out into the darkness before I work up the nerve to look at him. “Yes.”
“Fuck, Cait. When were you going to tell me?” he growls at me, and I manage not to claw his eyes out.
I nod my head slowly . . . not calmly.
“How do you know it’s yours?” Maybe I want him to hurt as badly as he’s hurt me.
Maybe I’m no better than my brother.
He leans over the chair, resting his hands on either arm, caging me in. “Because I know you, kitten. You didn’t go hop on some casual fuck. You love me.”
“Loved. Past tense.” I straighten, not wanting him to know he’s affecting me.
His fingers gently move my hair off my shoulders. “We’ll see about that.”
“Whatever, you cocky asshole. Of course it’s yours. But I only just found out on Thanksgiving. Today was my first appointment. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I wasn’t going to hide it from you. I just needed to know it was real before I put myself through the hell of talking to you.”
He straightens and shoves his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. His eyes lock on mine, and that same energy crackles in the air like it always does. “Are you okay? Is the baby?
“Yes,” I answer immediately because I don’t hate him enough to put him through that kind of hell. I’m not that cruel. “I’m due May first.”
The smile that stretches across his handsome face does me in. “Callen... I can’t do this. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. I appreciate you letting me stay here until I figure something out.”
“Glad you appreciate it because you’re not going anywhere until we find out whether someone was trying to kill you today. Whether you want to hear it or not, the only reason I broke your heart was because I was told your life was in danger, and it was the only fucking way to protect you. I loved you then. I love younow. You and this baby are my responsibility, Cait. Let me take care of you.”
“Fuck you, Callen. I’m no one’s responsibility.”
“That’s all you heard?” he groans and paces the room.
I don’t tell him I heard everything, even if I wish I hadn’t. “If I stay here, we have rules.”
“I’m listening . . .”
“Number one. This doesn’t mean we’re together. It doesn’t mean I like you. And it certainly doesn’t mean I forgive you,” I point out what I think is the obvious first. “Number two...” Shit. What the hell is number two?
