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I didn’t think to wear socks today, and it’s cold as hell in here.
What’s with that phrase anyway?
Cold as hell?
Hell is supposed to be hot, not cold.
How can it beburn in hellandcold as hell?
It doesn’t make sense.
“You doing okay, Caitlin?” Bellamy asks as I start spiraling. She stands next to me like a guard ready to take down anyone who looks at me wrong, not that anyone is going to do that here. At least I hope not. We should all have a Bellamy in our lives.
“No. I’m cold, and I want socks,” I whine because this is awful.
I don’t tell her I want Callen too.
I’ll take that one to the grave.
“Knock, knock,” my cousin Kenzie says from the other side of the door.
Kenzie came home after her residency and joined our aunt’s practice.
I’ve always gone to our Aunt Wren, but I felt more comfortable scheduling with Kenz, now that she’s home. I guess I didn’t want to see the possible disappointment in Wren’s eyes.
“Are you decent?” she asks as she cracks the door.
“Listen, Dr. Hayes. I’m very much not decent. These gowns suck. Now come in,” I snap back, and she opens the door laughing.
Evil.
“Hi, ladies.” She seems stunned to see Bellamy in here with me. “Cait, I was surprised to see your name on my sheet today.”
“Lucky, I guess.” Not that I feel lucky. Not now.
She reads over her tablet, and her entire face changes. “Okay,”
“Guess somebody didn’t do her homework,” I stage-whisper to Bellamy.
Oh my God. What’s wrong with me?
My nerves are shot.
My anxiety is through the roof.
And I’m a human incubator, just like the kind we had for the baby ducks when Mom went through her farm animals phase. Chickens, ducks, and a baby goat. They lasted a year.
“Reel in the crazy, Cait. I think you’re scaring her.” Bellamy leans her hip against the table and links her pinky with mine as Kenzie sits on her little round stool on wheels by the counter.
“Not scaring me. Just catching me a little off guard. That’s all. Nothing to worry about. That doesn’t happen often.” She scrolls down a page or two on the tablet, then lays it on her lap. “So, how about you tell me why you’re here today, Caitlin.”
“I’m pretty sure you just read that I’m pregnant, Kenz,” I snap, then immediately feel like shit for snapping. “Sorry. It’s been a rough few weeks.”
Suddenly tears pool in my eyes without my permission, and Kenzie hands me a tissue.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like my world is crashing in around me. Like I’m four months pregnant and somehow didn’t find out until last week,” I admit quietly. “Kinda like this is a sick joke.”
