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“And I was just a kid...” I whisper, wishing I could take it back.
“A kid with more confidence than most grown men I know.”
I swallow my nerves and somehow manage to keep my voice steady. “And now?”
“Now I’m a man who knows what I want, Cait. It’s the same thing I’ve wanted for four fucking years.” God, those words... I’ve waited so long to hear those words and had given up hope I ever would.
“What changed, Callen? Why now?” I can’t believe I’m even asking. But I need to know. “Because I meant it when I said I can’t keep doing this. Not now. Not after last night.”
“You changed it. For four years, I’ve fought this. I guess I don’t have the fight left in me to fight it anymore.”
“Wow. Is that supposed to make me feel good about myself? I’ve worn you down? Seriously?” I glare as the waiter brings the rolls and salads, but Callen refuses to let go of my hand.
I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry.
“It’s supposed to tell you this isn’t something I take lightly. You’re important to me. You always have been...” He leaves his sentence hanging.
“Let me guess... but so is my brother.” I feel like this is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“You know he is, Cait.”
“So where does that leave us?” I ask, getting dizzy from this merry-go-round but not willing to get off it. Unsure if I’ll ever be ready.
“You tell me.”
“I just want a chance to figure out what’s going on before we tell the world,” I plead. “We shouldn’t have to figure it all out tonight.”
“I don’t think we have to figure it all out. Just what matters to us. And, yeah, Maddox is one of those things. He comes home Friday, Cait, and I’m not willing to lie to him. Not just because it’s him, but because I don’t want to start this...us... on a lie. We’re going to have enough stacked against us. I’m not letting that be one of the things too.”
“He’s never going to be okay with this.” My stomach drops at the thought of what’s coming.
“I’d rather have him pissed because of the truth than furious over a lie.”
Well hell . . . when he puts it that way . . .
CAITLIN
Not everyone is going to think you’re beautiful and perfect. They’re wrong though. Stupid twats.
—Caitlin’s Secret Thoughts
In the end, Callen and I compromised. He’s going to talk to Maddox when he gets home Friday. That gives me two more days before this whole thing gets a lot more complicated. But when Callen pulls his phone from his pocket as we walk into the condo later that night, it’s not relief I see. It’s torture.
“What’s wrong?”
He looks up from his phone but doesn’t make eye contact as he shoves it in his pocket. “Nothing.”
“Callen...” I run my thumb over his cheekbone and cup his cheek in my hand as a bad feeling washes over me. This isn’t about him and me. This isn’t Maddox. It’s something else. “The truth. Remember?”
He closes his eyes and sinks into my touch.
“Is it your dad?” I push, gently thinking back to what started everything yesterday. “You can tell me, you know? I won’t say a word. I promise.”
His eyes open, and this strong man... my strong man, seems nearly broken.
“I can’t Cait. We told him we wouldn’t say anything,” he groans painfully.
“We?” I push a little harder.
