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My pulse kicks up with my heart rate. How many more times can I watch him walk out the door armed and ready for war?
When he emerges, he’s got his cut on, and I’m sure there are weapons under it. Pausing in the doorway, he studies me. “I’ve got to go.”
“I know.”
“C’mere.”
I walk to him with trepidation.
He cups my face. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. The girls are coming to get you at noon. I may not see you before the party.”
“They’re really still having it?”
He nods. “Crazy, I know.”
“Insane.”
His thumb strokes my cheek. “I’ve shared things with you I haven’t shared with anyone. You mean something to me, Elaina. You mean a hell of a lot to me. I’m just struggling with what to do with that. I never thought I’d want to go down that road again. Risk all that pain again. You understand?”
I nod, too sad for words. I’m not sure he sees a future for us.
He presses his lips to mine, and then he leaves me. Alone.
I watch him drive away. I have no clue where he’s going, but if it’s the club calling, I can only assume they’ve got a hit on those plates, and they’re going out to take care of those Rat Boys.
On the inside, I’m terrified, but on the outside, I’m numb.
Everything is spinning out of control.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Elaina—
Someone lays on a horn outside, and I dash to the window, twisting my hair in a bun on the way. I had time to take a long hot shower and try to get my head on straight. I can’t do anything about what’s happening, and I can’t change the way Baja feels about me. I just have to hope those feelings are strong enough to overcome his fears.
So, I’ve decided to put it all out of my mind and enjoy this day with these women who, in such a short time, have come to mean so much to me. Besides, a voice in the back of my head whispers this may be the last time I see them.
If things don’t work out with Baja, my only choice is to return to Denver and put my life together. Just the thought of that saddens me. I feel no connection to that city. I feel like I’m already putting roots here in Durango. But I know I could never stay here in the same town as Baja if we weren’t together. It would be too painful.
I give Rosie a scratch on the head. “I’ll be back to walk and feed you again in a few hours, baby.”
When I open the door, Lola rolls down the window of a white SUV. “Bring Rosie.”
“What?” I frown.
“We’ll drop her by the clubhouse. Night Train says his dog has been moping around since she went home with you.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Come on.”
I snap Rosie’s leash on and head down the steps off the deck. Rosie and I climb into the backseat.
Evelyn is in the passenger seat. She turns and smiles.
“Isabella and Kate are meeting us at the shop. We’ll just drop by the clubhouse on the way.”
“Okay, great,” I reply. Baja told me not to ask about club business, so I don’t ask anything. I wonder if they’ll be there when we pull up, or if they’re long gone. I hate being kept in the dark. I don’t know how these women do it.
