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They ate in silence for a moment longer.
“What made you bring me into the OR today?” Emily asked. “I know I didn’t do very much — really, what I did in there could have been handled by a nurse. So why didn’t you just have a nurse do it?”
“You need to learn,” Dominic said.
“I know I do. I’m just surprised you were ready to let me into the OR already. I didn’t even think you liked me.”
“Whether or not Ilikeyou doesn’t have anything to do with it,” Dominic said. “It’s my job to teach you.”
“But you haven’t let the other interns scrub in on surgeries, have you?”
“No. They’re not ready.”
“But you thought I was ready?”
“You’re more ready than your peers,” Dominic told her honestly. “You know, in spite of the things you and I have disagreed on, I can’t deny that you’re good at what you do, Emily. You have a dedication and a focus that’s exactly what I look for in an intern — it’s how I know someone is going to have what it takes to make it as a doctor. And now that I’ve heard your story, I’m honestly even more convinced.”
“But you’re still worried that I’m going to burn myself out?”
“I think you would be worried about the same thing in my shoes. It’s great to see someone as passionate as you are, but that has a tendency to cut both ways,” he said. “You care for your patients. I love that. But you’re going to be crushed every time you lose someone if you can’t disengage at least a little bit.”
His eyes locked on hers, and Dominic felt as if he was searching her, trying to come up with the right words to say that would sway her.
He was pretty sure that if he gave her the chance, she would tell him that was a waste of his time — there were no words that would change the way she thought about all this.
And also, at the same time, he didn’t want her to say anything at all. He didn’t want to do anything that would make her look away from him.
It was like being on a roller coaster, riding up the ascent hill. His heart was beating double-time in anticipation of what was to come. His breathing was erratic. He was sure his pulse was up. As he looked across the table at Emily, he saw that her cheeks were flushed — he felt hot all over, and he was sure she felt the same way. It had been a very long time since any woman had made him feel like this.
For a moment, he almost wanted to lean across the table and kiss her. To trace those flushed cheeks with his fingertips and see how he could make her respond.
And that moment of realization — of desire — was enough to make him pull away from her.
He shouldn’t be letting it happen now. Not like this — not with one of his interns. There was no potential in this. It couldn’t go anywhere.
And by the way she was looking at him, he felt sure that she returned everything he was feeling. It was entirely mutual. That was the worst part. If he had just been caught up in his own feelings he probably could have walked away without trying to take things any further. But knowing that she felt what he was feeling made it more real somehow. It wasn’t just in his head. It existed in the chemistry between their bodies — it was something real and impossible to ignore.
Dominic was a doctor. He knew all too well that you couldn’t just ignore the physical symptoms of things you didn’t want to be true. If you tried to do that, you would only make matters worse. If he didn’t pay attention to this connection between himself and Emily, it would grow.
He shouldn’t have come out to this diner with her. It was too unprofessional. Too much like a date.
He got to his feet. “I should get back to the hospital,” he said.
Emily looked startled. “You haven’t finished your omelet.”
“I know, but I have a lot more work to do.” She would see right through that, of course. It wasn’t even his shift. She would know that he was leaving for some other reason. But he didn’t owe her an explanation. “I’ll stop by the register and pay for both our meals.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Emily said. “I was going to pay for my own.”
It would probably have been better to let her do that — less like a date, less likely to create the wrong sentiment between the two of them. But Dominic couldn’t quite bring himself to abandon chivalry. “I’ve got it,” he said. “Iamyour boss.”
It wasn’t just an explanation for why he was going to pay. It was a reminder — a reminder to both of them — that they were approaching a line they couldn’t cross.
CHAPTER 11
EMILY
“What do you mean, you’re not coming?” Emily said.
