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Icurl inward and wrap my arms around my stomach. It's like he's pummeling me with a sledge hammer of truths I don't want to hear.
"Renzo's father killed my brother?"
He nods. "Shot him in cold blood while he slept. The ultimate sin in the mob is to go after a man's family. Your dad has been on a blood vendetta since that day, and you've been afraid of the dark ever since."
My mouth drops open but no words form. I'm speechless. All the years are playing out in my head again. Little pieces of information that fit with this story. The stuff I read in the papers matches what he's saying. Renzo's father died a month after Ricky.
"He's a murderer," Foster says. "Or a serial killer."
Oh my God. Donnie is listening to all this in the closet. Foster accusing my dad of murder is all he needs to justify his claim Foster's a cop. I can't keep my eyes off the closet, afraid a bullet is going to come at us any minute.
He grabs my arms and forces me to look at him. "You need to face the truth. Your mom left him because his crimes were escalating. She lost a son. She was furious at him for getting involved with the mob. She tried to leave with you and Donnie. He caught her and she's dead too. Now you're afraid to leave because you think he'll do the same to you."
I drive my hands into my hair and pull. "You're saying he killed my mom and Renzo's dad? That means he wouldn't hesitate to kill you either."
"Now you're starting to get it." He nods.
I stand and turn my back on him. On Donnie in the closet. I know he wouldn't shoot me in the back, but he would shoot Foster, but Foster's not going to leave without me. I have to do or say something to get him to leave.
"I'm not a cop," he says softly to my back. "I'm a guy who fell for a girl a long time ago and I thought I was getting my chance with that girl. But if she's the type of girl who doesn't trust me, maybe I don't want her after all."
Bitter pain burns in my gut. I hate to hurt him but I need him to leave. If he thinks I'm betraying him, he'll leave. I can explain it all later.
"This is your chance at freedom. We could be together. I'll keep you safe. You'd give all that up to protect your father? The man who beats you till you have bruises and pulls your hair till your scalp burns?"
I shake my head. He's right and I want to tell him but I can't in front of Donnie. I have to make Donnie and my dad think I am still on their side until Foster and I can leave safely.
"Your precious charities? The ones you bust your ass to make sure they bring in the big bucks? All a front for his money laundering operation."
I gasp and pull my hands to my chest. "Oh my God." All that work I've done for charity was a scam?
"Ask the charities how much of that money they really see. It's hard to believe someone could be that cold-hearted to use his daughter to steal from charity, but Vaughn Bianchi has a heart of ice. Get your bag and let's get the hell out of here. We'll work this out once you're safe."
I turn and stare at the closet. I can't bear to look at the pain in his eyes. "Do you have any evidence of all this?"
"No. Just my word," he says quietly. He's hurt I'm not saying what he wants to hear. But he doesn't understand. I have to stay on good terms with my dad and Donnie until we can make a move. Right now is not the right time. "I'm not lying to you," he continues. "I'm leaving my life too. I'm losing Henry. I'll have to sell my bike. I'm leaving my fighting career behind. All of it because I love you like some lost fool. You are a fucking pawn in his warped game and you play along like the willing victim. It's sickening."
Ouch. He's right. I did play along but I didn't know. "You have no idea what I'm going through."
He runs his hands through his hair and tugs on the back of his neck. "I absolutely do. I've been living this life with you for a while now. You gotta make this choice. I can't force you. It's not a wine cellar or an elevator ride. This is forever. You have to own it. Get your bag and let's go."
My lips tremble and a tear falls from my cheek. This is killing me but it's the only way I can get him out of here. I point to the balcony door. "Go now, Foster. They'll kill you too."
With that, his eyes change. The love is replaced with a dark ache and pain of betrayal.
"If it was just me, I'd stay and take my chances. My life alone isn't worth that much. But add you? For you, I'd run. For you, I'd do it because I want you to have your freedom, a family, a place to put your ugly dogs."
His words are killing me, but if it takes him getting angry at me, I have to let it happen. "They're not ugly."
He steps up to me and places his hand gently on my hip. "I've had a lot of people say they want me to be part of their life. They said they loved me. Said I had pretty eyes. In the end, they all chose their family over me. None of them ever came through for me except Henry. I gave up on wanting more for myself than him. But with you, I felt hope. Hope that I could give you a life you loved. Hope that I could finally make my own forever family. With you."
He kisses my lips, which are wet with tears. It's a gentle kiss. It's a kiss goodbye.
"You're pulling the rug from under me, babe. Thought you were different, but you're one of them. I didn't see it before, but you're one of them. I don't need you. I don't need this shit."
"Foster…" There's so much I want to say but I have to wait. He needs to go now and I'll tell him later.
"What?"
