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“Could you sit down so we can talk?” He gestured to the inordinately long porch swing. He pulled one of the ottomans from beneath the swing and propped his leg on it.
Bebe stared at him and then the swing. With a small sigh, she crossed the porch and carefully sat down. He couldn’t help but appreciate the care she took not to jostle his leg.
She sat with her hands folded primly in her lap. Now that she was near him, he didn’t know what to say.Sorry I was a jerk? Sorry I couldn’t be who youwanted me to be?Nah, that just negated all responsibility.
“I don’t plan on freezing all night, Jay.”
“Then scoot on in.” He lifted an arm, knowing she wouldn’t come any closer.
“Uh-uh.” She waggled a finger at him. “Just state your piece.”
Jahleel ran a hand down his face.This is Bebe. Be honest.“I’m so sorry I was a jerk the last time we talked.”
“We were kids, right?” She shrugged as if to insinuate it no longer mattered.
That was her putting on a brave face. Bebe felt deeply, and he had no doubt she still harbored some resentment. After all, if she didn’t, they’d be talking much more freely.
“I don’t think either of us thought our feelings childish. Besides, that doesn’t excuse my behavior. You wanted to know how we were going to maintain contact going off to different colleges, and I shut you down. I shutusdown.” His throat dried. “I feared I wouldn’t be able to focus on football, on obtaining the NFL dream, if I had a girlfriend.”
Sorrow filled her green eyes. “You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend, and you just cut off all contact.” Her eyes watered. “Why? Was I that bad of a girlfriend—”
“No,” he said forcefully. “It truly wasn’t you but me.” He pointed to his chest. “I didn’t know if I could have both dreams, Bebe. So I chose football.” He winced. Great, he’d just told her he picked a sport over love. He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry for not being the friend you needed. And definitely for not being the boyfriend you deserved.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, and his gut clenched. “I might have been able to forgive the boyfriend part, Jay. But for you to just ignore me....”
He wanted to pull her into his arms. He could feel her pain as if it ached in the center of his own chest, as if it were his own. And maybe it really was. He was finally admitting what he had let go. And for what? A sport he’d no longer be able to play?
“I was a class A jerk. Please forgive me,” he whispered. Acting on hope, he slid closer, draping an arm around her shoulders.
She laid her head on his shoulder. They said nothing for a few moments. Jahleel prayed God would heal any hurt he’d inflicted on Bebe.
Finally, she shifted away and met his gaze. “I forgive you, but this”—she pointed between them—“isn’t a good idea. We went down that road and saw the dead-end sign.”
Jahleel nodded, trying to swallow around the knot in his throat. The thought of closing the door to something more kind of tore him up inside. It would be so easy to lean forward and kiss her soft lips, remembering all the reasons Bebe had always had a place in his heart. But staying in Peachwood Bay wasn’t the plan. It would be more shades of the same bad behavior if he started something again. This time around, he needed to be more responsible and respectful.
“Friends?” He licked his lips, hoping to cover the crack in his voice.
“Friends.” She held out a hand.
He squeezed it and promptly let go. No use lingering.
Bebe leaned against the back of the swing and curled her feet underneath her. “Now, bring me up to speed on your life.”
So he did, all the while wanting more. But how much of himself was he willing to give?
Chapter
SIX
JAY
We’re friends, right?
Bebe
That’s what we agreed to last night.
JAY
