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She needed a moment of reprieve from Jahleel Walker. He still made her feel off-kilter but no longer in a good way. Hopefully she could get his mom to bring him some bread pudding. Yet a quick scan of the room proved that to be futile. Mrs. Walker was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she had stepped into the kitchen. Bebe changed directions as memories of the past hounded her.
Jay’s eyes had grown intense when she crossed the living room to join him. And after she asked if he wanted dessert, he’d studied her as if his brown-eyed gaze could see straight into her soul. Into the wounds that an uninterested husband and a divorce had caused. She couldn’t remember the last time Will had really looked at her. His departure had left her feeling unworthy. Lacking. But Jay—well, one gaze had stripped away all her defenses.
Get a hold of yourself, Bebe. That path only leads to heartache.
Because as much as Jay pulled at her, Bebe would never belong in his NFL world. That had been the deciding factor in preventing her from contacting him when he went to college. She’d been hurt by his silence, but reminding herself they were on two different paths eventually eased the ache. He’d wanted fame and stardom, and she had wanted to be a counselor.
After meeting Will and having Hope, Bebe’s dreams changed. Despite being married and having her own family, she could never bring herself to watch Jay’s games. Thankfully there were thirty-one other teams to satisfy her love for football. Surprisingly enough, one could avoid one particular player if they had the will.
No one was in the kitchen, so Bebe dished up some bread pudding. The smell of the warm cinnamon bread and raisins tickled her senses. She lifted the ladle from a blue speckled pan and drizzled the pudding with the homemade cream sauce, staring down at the swirls. How was she going to go back out there and talk to Jay? She needed to be composed, show him she hadn’t been thinking of him all these years later. But right now the heartache ofwhat-ifscenarios taunted her. If she didn’t get herself under control, heartbreak would show all over her face.
He probably has a girlfriend. Heis a star wide receiver, after all. Besides,you’re not dating again. Remember what Will did to you?If he could cheat, what’s to stop a famed NFL player from doing the same?
With a shake of her head, Bebe marched out of the kitchen and into the living room.
And stopped short.
Hope sat on the ottoman in front of Jay, a smile covering her face. Bebe couldn’t see his expression, but Jay appeared enraptured by Hope’s story, if the sound of his laughter wasany indication. Hope continued speaking, using her hands to give life to her words. Bebe tried to gasp for air, but the picturesque moment felt like a punch to the gut.This.This was what her ex was missing out on. These moments of precious connection and precious time that he could never get back. Never.
Their daughter had never met a stranger. As frustrating as it was for Bebe to watch her talk to random people, she also didn’t want to change the warmth that Hope often exuded toward others. Hope was the embodiment of compassion, and this time Jay was her target.
Bebe walked toward the seating area, wondering how she could extract herself and her daughter from the party. She didn’t know how much her heart could take. To her chagrin, May had accepted Mrs. Walker’s invitation for lunch for the both of them. Bebe had wanted to smack her friend with all the love and fury mixed inside of her. May knew how much Bebe wanted to avoid Jay and had taken fate into her own hands.
Or God had allowed her to.
Bebe looked around for her friend.Nothing. Knowing May, she’d probably snuck out and congratulated herself on a mission accomplished.
Resigned, Bebe offered Jay the bowl of dessert. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” His warm gaze focused on her.
Shivers of awareness coursed up her arms. Had his voice always been so deep, or had time wrought changes? He appeared to be the boy next door she’d always known, but something in the depth of his eyes spoke of unseen changes.
“Mama, sit with me.” Hope patted the ottoman.
“Honey, Jay needs to rest his leg on that.” She was surprised he hadn’t asked Hope to move. What if she accidentally bumped his knee?
“You could sit next to me.” Jay winked as he patted the open space on the love seat.
She swallowed and sat down, hugging the end of the couch. Why was it called a love seat anyway?
Jay leaned over. “I don’t bite, Bebe.”
Maybe not, but he had the power to hurt her.
“Why would you bite my mom?” Hope had ears like a hawk.
Jay’s face flushed, and he straightened. “I wouldn’t. It was a joke.”
“Not a very funny one.”
Bebe’s shoulders began to shake. She loved her daughter. She wanted to high-five her for lightening the mood.
“Mama, did you know Jay’s a football player?” Hope’s eyes glowed with excitement. Her daughter was a perfect mix of girly-girl and tomboy.
“I did.”
“How come we never watch him on TV?”
