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“Nah,” Aiden said, patting Chris’s shoulder. “You need some of that for the training exercises I have planned. I just wanted more info before I decided if Cal deserved to be punched.”
“Nice,” I said. “What have you decided?”
Aiden shook his head. “There’s no point,” he said to Chris. “He’s hurt himself more than either of us could. He still thinks he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone.”
Chris nodded. “Yeah, he’s an idiot.”
“Hey,” I said, stepping toward them. “Like I said before, what happens between Rowan and me is our business.”
“And what about what doesn’t happen?” Chris said, raising his eyebrow.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.
Chris laughed, but it sounded hollow. “Why? Because I’m still in high school? I might be younger than you, but I’ve lived with three women my whole life. I have a pretty good understanding of them, overall, and my sisters, especially. And unlike you, I’m not a jaded prick.”
“Watch it,” I said through gritted teeth.
Chris shook his head. “Thanks for all the time you’ve given me this summer, but I’d rather train with Aiden from now on. Assuming you don’t mind?” he added, glancing at Aiden.
“Happy to help,” Aiden said, tossing a football in his hands. “You heard the kid, Cal. Go home. Take a nap. You look like shit.”
“You’re serious?” I asked.
Chris nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll still walk Skye. It’s not her fault you’re an idiot.”
With that, he grabbed the ball from Aiden and took off. Aiden raced after him, leaving me alone with Skye, who snuggled up to me with a whimper. After watching them work together a few minutes, it became clear they had no intention of including me, so Skye and I walked back to where I’d parked my car near Karma.
As I loaded Skye into the SUV, Lauren threw open the café door and ran toward me. I held up my hands to protect my face, but instead of hitting me, she wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into a strong hug. Lauren made great hot chocolate, and we usually exchanged a few words when I came into Karma, but we weren’t on hugging terms, or so I thought.
I dropped my hands from their defensive position and patted her back awkwardly.
“Sorry I almost spit in your Chai,” she said, taking a step back.
“No worries,” I said. “I’m not dating Avery. I don’t do relationships.” I had no idea why I was spilling my guts on the sidewalk to the woman whose role in my life could best be described as my favorite barista.
She nodded. “I get it. Better than anyone.”
I realized then that I’d often seen Lauren around town on dates, but never with the same guy. I couldn’t name anyone she’d been with longer than a week, though several men I knew had taken her out and asked for another date only to be turned down. Gently, of course. But turned down all the same.
“You don’t do relationships either?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
She shook her head. “Nope. I’ve never met anyone worth the risk.”
I nodded, and her eyes hardened.
“But you have.” She slapped my chest and then pulled me in for another hug. “No matter what you’re afraid of, I promise, she’s worth it.” Before I could say anything, Lauren let me go and went back into Karma.
I stood on the sidewalk as the truth of her words sank in. I knew I’d hurt Rowan last night. I saw the pain on her face. I kept seeing it, despite every beer I drank at Church, until I passed out on my living room couch. I felt guilty. Plain and simple. Or so I thought. Pain shot through my chest, the ache so powerful and sudden, I wondered if I was having some kind of medical event. It was the type of hurt that had its own mass, the sheer weight of it enough to crush the breath from your lungs. I’d felt it before, waking up in the hospital to a broken body, my parents holding my hands as they delivered the news that shattered my entire life. I lived with that weight until I pushed it down. I focused on healing my body, then earning my degree, building a career, and deciding what color to paint my fucking house. I’d kept moving forward, one step beyond this terrible pain that wanted to eat me alive.
I stumbled to the driver’s side, but when I saw how badly my keys shook in my hands, I dropped them on the street and pulled my phone from my pocket.
“I can’t drive,” I said, each word pushed out with a burst of air that tightened the ache in my chest.
There was a pause as I fumbled on the ground for my keys.
“The app says you’re near Karma,” Theo said. “Is that right?”
I nodded. Then made a noise that I hoped sounded like a confirmation.
