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It means everything.
The answer is obvious and immediate. Fixing things with Avery means absolutely everything to me, and as I sit here hating myself, I suddenly think I might know how to do it. It’s not flowers and chocolate, but for Avery, for me, forus, it makes a lot more sense.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Avery
THE WEEKEND IS a welcome reprieve from the tumult of this past week. I don’t have plans, which Mia has already expressed her intense displeasure with. She doesn’t know what’s been going on between Diego and I, however. I’ve kept Diego’s secret and honored his privacy by not telling anyone, even her.
She has, however, insisted on hanging out with me. “If you’re going to be a shut-in, at least don’t do it alone,” she said before inviting herself over.
In truth, I don’t mind. Watching movies and eating ice cream with her has kept me from falling into the temptation of wallowing, which I’d definitely be doing if I was alone.
“This is breakup behavior,” she remarks as we startanother ‘90s comedy on a streaming service.
“I didn’t break up with anyone. I’d have to be dating them first.” And I would not call what Diego and I were doing “dating.”
“You say that, but this ismajorbreakup behavior,” Mia says around a mouthful of rocky road.
“So now I’m a shut-in and broken up with? Your opinion of me continues to plummet.”
Mia shrugs. “I’m just calling it how I see it.” The movie plays on, with some hapless golfer attacking an alligator. “You can talk about it if you want.”
“Nothing to talk about.”
“It’s what friends do for each other,” she continues, undeterred. “We listen to each other’s boy troubles while eating ice cream. Comes with the whole ‘friend’ thing.”
I sigh and set my spoon in the open carton of ice cream on the coffee table. Mia and I are cuddled under a blanket, not completely unlike the way Diego and I cuddled under a blanket and watched a movie on this couch before I disastrously confessed my feelings to him.
“What?” Mia says. “You just looked at me and winced. Do I have chocolate on my face?”
I chuckle despite myself. “No, you’re fine. It’s…” I heave a sigh. Fuck it. Why am I keeping secrets for a man who sort of, kind of, very academically told me we have no future? “There was a guy, but it was supposed to be a secret.”
Mia’s eyes widen with interest.
“You remember when we went to that club once?”
Her eyes widen further as I fill in the missing details in that night for her. Then comes the big confession. “And he’s … he’s my TA.”
Mia’s eyes are going to pop out of her head if they go any wider. She grins wickedly, tossing aside her spoon and twisting to face me on the couch.
“Oh my God, Avery. Good work!”
“Not good work,” I say. “He told me it can’t work.”
“I knew this was breakup behavior! Ha!” Mia cries triumphantly.
“It’s not breakup behavior. We were never dating.”
“If he has to tell you there’s no future, you were basically dating.”
I surrender to her logic, groaning and wilting forward until my head is in her lap. She pets her fingers through my hair.
“Oh, baby, you really liked him a lot, huh?” she says.
“I told him I love him.”
“Oh, Avery.”
