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I nod. “What about your paper? You had questions about sources.”
“Oh, I mean, if you have time, I’d love your help with this part.”
I scoot my chair closer, and we dive into their research paper. It’s far more extensive than what’s required for an undergraduate course, but I’m not surprised by that in the least. This is Avery. They’re always going to go far above and beyond when they care about something. Watchingthem indulge their passion is like getting sucked into a whirlpool, an inescapable tug into deeper waters. Soon, we’re digging through books and articles, reshaping whole sections of the essay, discussing topics that stretch well beyond the requirements for the paper — or the course as a whole.
I’m captivated.
This has always been the aspect of Avery that hooks me most strongly. The second I got a glimpse into their mind, there was no running from this. That morning when we woke up together, I could have gotten as much pleasure out of lying in bed talking to them as from what we did in the shower.
I come back to my senses when we start veering into case studies that aren’t even complete yet, research that’s still underway.
“This is all way more than you can put into that paper,” I say. “You’re going to blow past the word count at this rate.”
“That’s okay,” Avery says easily. “I like this stuff. If it doesn’t all get into the paper, I’ll still enjoy learning about it.”
“You’re way too busy to do more than what’s required, and we both know it.”
Avery scowls. “That’s true, I guess. Things have gotten better at the café but it’s…” They huff out a sigh. “It’s a lot. You’re right. I’ll trim this back before it gets out of control.”
“You know, you could save the sources in a separate document. Who knows when you might need them in the future?”
Avery’s laugh surprises me more than any other reaction they could have had.
“Yeah, sure,” they say.
“What? You sound skeptical.”
They shrug. “I don’t have too many other classes left that focus so intensely on the topic of gender. I doubt I’ll need to crack open these books again after your class.”
“I wasn’t thinking of only your undergrad, Avery. You could keep studying. You only have a year and a half left on your degree.”
They go quiet at this, neither agreeing nor denying it. Their silence sits heavily between us, but I’m too much of a coward to prod. Do they really not intend to go further with this degree? They have the mind and the temperament for higher levels of education. That much is obvious. What would hold them back?
“Anyway,” they say before I can ask, “I didn’t mean to take up all your time with my stuff. I’m sure you have work to do as well.”
“It’s okay,” I say, but silence falls between us again, and we turn back to our own work.
I can’t entirely manage to focus after that. I keep thinking about how quiet they got when I prodded them about their education. Are we both planning to abandonthis? Me doing it is one thing. I’m a small-town boy longing for home. But Avery belongs here. This is their kind of environment. They thrive here. They should want to keep going.
“Hey.” Avery cuts into my thoughts, and I realize I haven’t typed a single word in far too long.
“Sorry, spaced out.”
“I noticed. Seems like we’re getting kind of worn out.” They lean in closer, lowering their voice even though we’re alone. “I’m going to head out now. Alone. For safety or whatever. But there’s no café customers tonight. I’ll be home watching movies. You should come by.”
“Avery, I…”
What? Can’t? Won’t? Neither of those feel true, so I never finish the thought.
Avery seems to sense the gap in my resolve.
“You can do whatever you want,” they say. “I’m not twisting your arm. I’m simply saying that I’ll be home and if you come by, that would be cool. Maybe it would be really cool.”
They eye me up and down, but the look is so quick that I almost doubt it happened when they rise smoothly to their feet and leave me in the study room staring dumbly after them as they casually walk away.
Chapter Twenty-One
Avery
