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He sinks to the basin with me, and we kiss while the water tries to drown us. It takes several minutes before we can drag ourselves back to our feet and wash properly, butI’m pretty sure of neither of us truly cares about getting squeaky clean in here. We spend some time simply touching each other again, touching with no aim other than enjoying the feel of each others’ bodies. A day ago, I would have called this moment impossible. Even right now it feels like a dream. But the pruning of my fingers reminds me that my body will have needs today other than sex.
Mia and Gabriel will be so proud of me. All this time, I’ve been telling them I have no time for fun, but maybe it wasn’t a question of time. Maybe it was a question of making time for the right kind of fun. And the right person.
I shut off the water reluctantly. We use the warmed up towels to dry off, then head back into the bedroom.
“I might have something you can borrow,” I say as I dig through the closet.
Most of my jeans and fitted things will be too small for him, but I might have a T-shirt that’s baggy enough to get the job done. I throw on some sweatpants and a crop top for myself, incapable of resisting being alittlecute, but Diego hasn’t answered even when I’m fully dressed and leaving the closet. Instead, he sits on the edge of the bed wringing his hands.
“Diego?” I say.
“Avery, this was really fun, but...”
My stomach plummets into my feet. Just like that, he’s a completely different person than the one who slept in mybed, the one who washed my hair and touched me in the shower. This is the old Diego, the Diego from before last night, the Diego who couldn’t stop running from me.
What could I have suddenly done wrong?
Chapter Eighteen
Diego
EVERYTHING WAS GOING so well. I let myself go last night, let myself have things I’ve been terrified of. The world did not crumble beneath me. Then Avery and I shared that shower and I couldn’t keep my hands off them.
But reality crashed back in to ruin things when I started getting dressed in my clothes from last night and the high wore off. I’m in a student’s bedroom. I shouldn’t be here, no matter how much I like Avery, no matter how much I’m drawn to every single piece of them. We got away with last night, but the longer I linger, the more danger I create for both of us. I need to keep a level head about this, no matter what my heart thinks of the matter.
“Diego?” Avery says.
“Avery, this was really fun,but…”
Their face falls. My chest clenches. The last thing I want to do is hurt them in any way, but we have to be reasonable about this.
I force myself up from the bed so I can clasp their hands in mine. I rub my thumbs over their knuckles, but it does little to soothe the tension in their face. Their hair is wet and loose, water droplets kissing the side of their neck and face. I could lean in and lick those little droplets up, kiss my way to Avery’s ear, pull them in and listen to them sigh against me.
Which is exactly what I shouldn’t do right now.
“I think I should go home,” I say.
“You don’t want breakfast?” Avery says. “I could make us some tea.”
I smile a little. “That sounds really nice. It does. But I think it’s smarter for me to go home.”
Avery isn’t confused. They don’t argue. They clasp my hands tighter for a beat.
“If that’s what you feel like you need to do, then that’s okay,” Avery says.
“It’s not because of you,” I say before realizing how stupid that sounds.
Avery just chuckles. “I think I’ve heard that one before.”
“I mean it, Avery. I’d stay if I could, but I’m your TA. This is … ethically dubious.”
“We aren’t breaking any laws, Diego. No one is goingto kick down my door.”
“We aren’t breaking the law, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean my department wouldn’t have to take some sort of action if they knew about this.”
Avery scowls, and I slip my hand from theirs to tip their beautiful face up.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I really am. I’d stay here with you all day. I’d drink tea and watch movies and lay on the couch until we rushed back up here at some point tonight when we just had to—”
